When I was new in my grief, I had a good friend tell me, “at least you can pregnant.” And he almost immediately became my ex-good friend.
Because something I realized while mourning my son is that there is literally no statement that can follow the words “at least” that is in any way supportive or gentle or kind. Nothing. It simply isn’t possible.
“At least” is minimizing.
“At least” is a way to compare pain.
“At least” is a way to point out a bright side. And yet—sometimes there are no bright sides.
“At least” is a means of silencing.
“At least” is also one of the most common phrases said to a parent after the loss of a child. And never has it ever been comforting—
—In the least.
Notes for the Support Team – Words Matter:
Original statement: At least…
Rewritten: I’m so sorry this happened to you. It isn’t right or fair. Nothing can make up for the loss of your child.