One of the many aspects included in the loss of a child are the missing milestones—first smile, first kiss, and the years in between. These physical things that can only be done by doing. These missing memories.
All of these things were lost when I lost my child.
And yet, often when I say that I miss him, someone will tell me, “But he’s with you in spirit.”
And maybe it’s hormones or maybe it’s just me, but I need you to understand how very much that is not the same.
I am allowed to miss my child.
I am allowed to miss his company.
I am allowed to miss him physically.
I am allowed to miss every piece of his missing identity.
I am allowed, because I am his mother. And he should be here, with me.
Notes for the Support Team – Words Matter:
Original statement: He/She is with you in spirit.
Rewritten: It must be so hard that he isn’t physically here with you. What do you think he might be doing today if he were?