22 March 2021 – Kindness…

“Kindness is a weird and slippery thing.”

Sometimes I feel like kindness is confused with self-care—long walks and bubble baths. Time alone to watch TV. These things are part of kindness, sure. But such a small piece.

Sometimes kindness is kind words. Acknowledgment. Compassion. Maybe even self-love. Do I love myself? I think so. Mostly.

In my work life, sometimes I give myself more than kindness. And I too lenient here? Too self-forgiving? It still amazes me to receive good reviews with a little over half of my former energy.

I wonder where the old Miranda would be?

The one place I don’t struggle is in honoring my grief. In the love I give to both of my children. In this pure, authentic honesty. And although sometimes it is awkward, it is also the most important piece of kindness to me.

I am a mother to two children. And that fact deserves to be seen.

Posts written in response to prompts from Megan Devine’s Refuge in Grief writing program.
Return to Write Your Grief Homepage

Share this post via:

Close up of Miranda and Adrian in the hospital after Adrian's birth. Both of their eyes are closed, and Miranda is holding Adrian's hand

6 Feb 2018 – Regret

Incline Village, North Lake Tahoe - Feature

20 Feb 2018 – Time

30 March 2021 – Subsumed Grief

Chalk drawings on the sidewalk (Miranda Hernandez)

18 Mar 2018 – Someone Else’s Birthday

19 March 2021 – Where I Live Now

Birds on the Pacific Coast in California - Feature

22 Feb 2018 – Fuck

Miranda on the Pacific Coast 2 - Feature

10 Feb 2018 – This is How I Feel About Life

Miranda with Adrian's First Blanket - SQ

2 Feb 2018 – Elephant Onesies

Palm trees over the Pacific Ocean - Feature

7 Feb 2018 – Beauty

Sunset over Arizona - Feature

12 Feb 2018 – Hard Things

Sunset over the California desert, with highway signs in the distance (Miranda Hernandez)

1 Feb 2018 – Photos

Miranda on the shore of Lake Tahoe, California (photo used with permission)

23 Aug 2018 – Windows

Matthiola flowers on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

26 Sep 2018 – Dear Grace

Title: Grief is a Mother, Too | overlaid on an image of Miranda and Elephant on the coast at sunset (Synch Media)

2 Feb 2018 – Grief is a Mother, Too

The first blanket and baby toy Miranda purchased for Peanut (Miranda Hernandez)

29 Oct 2018 – Baby Things

Tree branch in California - Feature

5 Feb 2018 – Akhilandeshvari

Title: A Letter to My Fellow Bereaved | overlaid on an image of the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

18 Feb 2018 – I Love You

30 March 2021 – The 13th Guest

18 March 2021 – What I Wish You Knew

Keālia Beach 2 - Feature

20 Feb 2018 – Unspoken

31 March 2021 – Clarity

Amy's collar (Miranda Hernandez)

12 Sep 2018 – Three Dishes

Sunset on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

2 Jun 2018 – Peace

Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park, Big Sur, California (Miranda Hernandez)

22 May 2018 – I only write to ghosts. You must be one of them.

Sleeping Giant Trail 1 - Feature

25 Feb 2018 – That Day

17 March 2021 – Who I Used to Be

North Star Resort - Feature

20 Feb 2018 – Flight

Lakeside in Incline Village, North Lake Tahoe, Nevada (Miranda Hernandez)

13 Feb 2018 – The Condition of My Heart

A seagull over the Pacific Ocean - Feature

9 Feb 2018 – No

Miranda on the California coast (Synch Media)

21 Jun 2018 – The After

Memories (Write Your Grief) | overlaid on image of Miranda on the California coast at sunset (Synch Media)

18 Feb 2018 – Memories

24 March 2021 – Emulation

31 Jan 2018 – Choice

21 March 2021 – Does Grief Mourn?

Limp hand holding a cell phone

26 Mar 2019 – The Worst Thing that Never Happened

Sunset over the Pacific 1 - Feature

26 Feb 2018 – Nuclear Bomb Part 2

24 March 2021 – The One I Avoided Last Time

Title: My Personal Experience with Grief | overlaid on an image of Miranda in Kaua'i (Luna Kai Photography)

29 Jan 2018 – Grief

Miranda on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

28 May 2018 – Planet Miranda

4 April 2021 – Memories Part 2

A Letter to My Belly (Write Your Grief) | overlaid on image of Miranda making a heart on her belly (Synch Media)

24 Feb 2018 – A Letter to My Belly after the Stillbirth of my Firstborn Child

Pinecrest Lake 1 - Feature

26 Feb 2018 – The Nuclear Bomb

A Letter from the In-Between (Write Your Grief) | overlaid on image of Miranda staring off into the distance (Synch Media)

28 Jul 2018 – A Letter from the In-Between

Seagulls on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

27 May 2018 – Fairytales

Sunlight through the trees, North Lake Tahoe, California (Miranda Hernandez)

25 Aug 2018 – Amy Anne

20 March 2021 – The Absence of Memory

Hiking the Sleeping Giant Trail, Kapaa, Kaua'i, Hawai'i

3 Feb 2018 – The Kindest Thing

Keālia Beach 1 - Feature

8 Feb 2018 – Prickly

Julia Pfeiffer Burns Plant1 - Feature

7 Feb 2018 – Tests

26 March 2021 – Landscape

Lakeside in Incline Village 3

14 Feb 2018 – I love you. Please.

Wide angle view of Miranda standing on a deserted beach in California at sunset. She is wearing a pink kimono fluttering in the breeze (Synch Media)

30 Jan 2018 – The Second Death

27 March 2021 – Community

Explore more of Adrian's Elephant

Scroll to Top