Peanut and Adrian's Elephant (Sarah Perry Photography)
Peanut and Adrian's Elephant (Sarah Perry Photography)

Pregnancy after Loss & Peanut’s Birth Story

Miranda's Blog

A little over 13 months ago, and just by chance on Mother’s Day weekend, I made my first attempt at having a second child. That attempt was unsuccessful, and the following months were complicated and painful. It wasn’t until September that I felt ready to try again. So it feels like such a different world to know that this year, on Mother’s Day weekend, my second pregnancy was coming to an end.

Pregnancy After Loss and Peanut’s Birth Story

We were monitored much more closely this time. I saw my doctor twice monthly at the beginning and twice weekly at the end. We spent time with specialists and ran all the tests, and even on days I was terrified, I knew my providers were doing everything possible to keep us both safe. During our last month, I even found a sense of peace. This little girl was going to be okay.

So when my doctor called me this year on Mother’s Day weekend and asked me to repeat some tests, I wasn’t especially concerned. I was feeling well; she was moving; we were both going to be fine. And when he called again a second time, I still felt okay. And looking back now I can only feel grateful, because he caught the beginnings of both Preeclampsia and HELLP before they had the chance to fully develop. And because of this, for most of the past month, I’ve been enjoying life with the sweetest little girl.

Related: Miranda’s Blog: It’s so much more than high blood pressure; What I wish I’d known about Preeclampsia before it killed my child

She’s here, she’s real, and she’s absolutely perfect. She fills my heart in ways I can’t believe. She is not a rainbow, because my son was not a storm. They both exist, side by side, both a permanent part of me.

~

While I do share photos and details about Adrian on Facebook and other social media, I have chosen not to do so for my daughter. We live in such a different world today than I grew up in, and I’d like to keep some things private while she’s young. So for now, please welcome my brand new little “Peanut,” the sweetest part of my new world ❤️🥜❤️

Close up image of Miranda making a heart with her hands over her stomach prior to her first insemination procedure while trying for Peanut (photo taken by a friend)
Miranda before her first insemination procedure (photo taken by a friend)
Close up of midwife preparing for insemination. Midwife is holding a pipette preparing the semen for insemination. There is a tray of supplies on the table in the background (photo taken by a friend)
Midwife preparing for insemination (photo taken by a friend)
Miranda before her second insemination procedure. She is wearing a red and white striped shirt and laying in bed, with a blue baby blanket cuddled in her hands. She is smiling at the camera (photo taken by a friend)
Miranda before her second insemination procedure (photo taken by a friend)
Close up of two positive pregnancy tests against a white shelf. One test is an ink test, and the other is digital. The digital test says "Yes+"(Miranda Hernandez)
Positive pregnancy tests (Miranda Hernandez)
Miranda at five weeks pregnant, Twin Peaks, San Francisco. She is standing in the middle of the stairwell, making a heart with her hands over her belly, and staring off-camera, smiling (Richard Bae)
Miranda at five weeks pregnant, Twin Peaks, San Francisco (Richard Bae)
Maternity photo taken in Metauri Bay, New Zealand. Miranda is wearing a light blue maternity photo gown, open at the belly. She is lying in a field of wildflowers, and is looking at her belly. Adrian's footpring tattoo is just barely visible on her right ribs (Two Little Starfish)
Maternity photo, Metauri Bay, New Zealand (Two Little Starfish)
Black and white photo of Miranda and Peanut's Mermaid. Miranda is wearing black undergarments and is smiling down at the mermaid in her hand. (4th Trimester Bodies Project)
Miranda and Peanut’s Mermaid (4th Trimester Bodies Project)
Miranda in front of the ocean-themed cake at Peanut's baby shower. Peanut's mermaid and Adrian's elephant are positioned next to the cake. Miranda is smiling at the camera (photo used with permission)
Peanut’s baby shower (photo used with permission)
Adrian's Elephant and Peanut's Mermaid sitting next to the ocean-themed cake at Peanut's baby shower. There are 3 maternity photos of Miranda sitting on the table in front of the cake (Miranda Hernandez)
Peanut’s baby shower (Miranda Hernandez)
Miranda's maternity photo taken in Pebble Peach, California. Miranda is wearing a white maternity gown, open at the waist. She is sitting on the sand in front of rocks and the ocean water (Sarah Perry Photography)
Maternity photo, Pebble Peach, California (Sarah Perry Photography)
Miranda and Peanut after birth in the hospital. Miranda is holding Peanut on her chest. There is a blanket covering both of them, and a ocean-themed pillow behind Miranda's head (Sarah Perry Photography)
Miranda and Peanut after birth (Sarah Perry Photography)
Miranda and Peanut at home. Miranda is wearing a green dress and dark blue robe, and is leaning over Peanut on the bed. Peanut is wearing a white onesie and is facing away from the camera. There is an ocean-themed pillow behind Miranda, and Adrian's photo is visible in the left side of the frame (Sarah Perry Photography)
Miranda and Peanut at home (Sarah Perry Photography)

Related Posts:

Miranda’s Blog: 1 January 2019
Miranda’s Blog: My Daughter is not a Rainbow; My Son was not a Storm

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Miranda’s Blog has been featured in Scary Mommy, Pregnancy After Loss Support Magazine, Love What Matters, Up Journey, and Pursue Today. You can also find her on Quora and Medium.

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