One of the harder parts of living after the death of one’s child is the absence of memory; the milestones that live on only in a parent’s imagination. This poem expresses the complex feelings inherent in that experience, particularly on a deceased child’s birthday.
Related Post: Write your Grief: The Absence of Memory
Front: If they asked me to describe you, I would start with your eyes. Though I never got to see your eyes; just your long eyelashes. If they asked about your first word, I would have to shrug. (Though statistically of course, it’s almost always “Dada”. ) If they asked about my hopes for you, my biggest hope was always that you would have felt loved. It was important to me that you feel loved.
Inside: I think about these things we’ve missed; these forks in other roads. I think about the life that lives on only in my mind. If they asked me to describe you, I would start with your eyes—At once both real and ambiguous,; unknowable outside of mine. Happy Birthday to my little one. You will always live in every part of my life.
(Adapted from a poem written for Adrian’s second birthday)
About our Greeting Cards:
All greeting cards on Adrian’s Elephant were created using templates and elements found in Canva.com and are completely free to download and print for personal purposes. Read more about Canva’s use policies here.
Cards are sized to print on standard 8.5″ x 11″ paper, and are also compatible with greeting card templates such as those produced by Avery or many other vendors of office supplies. If your template is smaller than 8.5″ x 11″, you will need to scale the design to fit. You can also print via many online services or through a local print shop.
Customize this card:
All cards are also customizable via Canva. Some cards may require a Canva subscription for premium elements; click on the individual template for details. (If you don’t have a subscription and only want a single design, please contact me. I will create it for you.)
Support the creation of these & future projects:
Adrian’s Elephant and Sea Glass Parenting will never charge for customizable digital products downloaded directly from this site. (We do charge a nominal fee for downloads from our Etsy shop). If you are moved to support our efforts, we accept tips via Ko-Fi.
Additional resources & support for bereaved families:
Sea Glass Parenting; Supporting Bereaved Families in Love & Grief
Resources Homepage for Bereaved Parents & Families
Notes for the Bereaved; Thoughts on Life after Loss
Resources Blog: 30 Ways to Honor Your Deceased Child