135 – Thu, Sep 12, 2019, 6:40 PM

Wooden structure in South Lake Tahoe, California (Miranda Hernandez)
Wooden structure in South Lake Tahoe, California (Miranda Hernandez)

Our old house is for sale. In the photos, it looks cluttered. They have a boy and a girl, fully lived-in rooms. We wouldn’t have had that, not there. It still feels weird to look at.

I think Zillow has forgotten I’m not the owner anymore. I keep getting update emails. They make me remember. It’s not terrible to remember.

Your sister is sleeping on my chest. We had a scare last night. This morning. I am constantly, low key terrified. And also, somehow, okay.

I miss you. I miss you in the bedrooms you never got to furnish. I miss you in the places you never got to see. I miss you on the first day of preschool and family pictures and sticky fingers. I miss you in the echoes of all of these things lived in other people. Sometimes, I even hear you.

I wonder which one would have been your bedroom?

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