Category: Miranda’s Blog 2017

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Close up of Adrian's Elephant on Miranda's lap. Miranda is wearing blue jeans and white shirt, and Elephant is sitting in her lap facing the camera (Miranda Hernandez)

Pre-Pregnancy Jeans & the Struggle with Postpartum Weight Loss after Stillbirth

Today, I put on a pair of pre-pregnancy jeans. They are tight, and my body fills them differently, but they do fit. And this, surprisingly, is also hard for me—as hard as I worked to get here, as much as I thought wearing “normal” clothing would be a cure for at least part of what ails me, I also miss it. I miss being pregnant.

I Drink a Lot of Tea

It’s become a trend these days to put quotes and proverbs on packaging, including tea bags. I used to find these captions comforting. I used to think I could handle anything with the right attitude. Now I often feel like these things miss the mark. Is it the proverb that is incomplete, or is it me?

Sunset in Arizona

I Miss My Phone

After my son died, I moved to a new city. I took 4 days to make the drive, stopping often to take photos of the scenery. Taking photos was one of the primary ways I dealt with so many changes after his death, and after losing my phone with so many photos of him.

Toy car hidden in the grass

Favorite Holiday

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday, a reminder of the blessings and the beauty in my life. Appreciating blessings is a difficult task this year, but there will always be beauty.

Wildflowers and Adrian's Elephant

On Sunlight and Strength

I am a weed. They say I am strong, but I do not aim to be so. I don’t aim to be anything. I’m just here.

Bench in California (Miranda Hernandez)

Things I Didn’t Get to Say

People said some (mostly unintentionally) hurtful and insensitive things after the death of my child. This is what I wish I’d said in response.

Cherry blossoms in Victoria, British Columbia (Miranda Hernandez)

Dear Pregnant Woman in My Office

Dear pregnant woman in my office – people are starting to get excited. They threw you a baby shower, and things are starting to feel very familiar. I wish I could explain why I’ve started to dislike you. I wish there were some logic beyond jealously and pain. 

29 October 2017

I’ve done a lot of things lately that the old me would have thought strange.

Miranda with Adrian's name sign from Landon's Legacy Retreat, Whiteshell Provincial Park, Manitoba

30 September 2017

I will forever love the sound of your name. #adrianjameshernandez

Explore more of Adrian's Elephant

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