Driftwood log on the shore of Nukoli'i Beach park, Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)

Not Fucking Fair

Miranda's Story: Bereaved Mother
to a Stillborn Child

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I don’t understand, today. I don’t know what it’s like to live in a waiting room. My sister told me when I exited the car at the hospital, I left a bloody footprint. She’s been holding on to this knowledge, and I didn’t know. Do any of us want to know?

I feel more attuned now, to tragedy. It’s easier to recognize. I know there are things I should say. I should be present and strong. I would never ask someone in tragedy to be strong. It should be my job now.

But she’s hurting, and I realize I still don’t know what to say. She’s hurting right now, and all I have is: I’m here.

Is that enough? I know, from experience, nothing’s ever really enough.

I’m thinking about you

I hope he makes it. He pulls through. He’s okay

I’m here. I’m always here

💙🐘💙 Miranda’s Story is an account of my pregnancy with Adrian and my life after his death. 💙🐘💙

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