I don’t know why I’m surprised when I cry out of nowhere. Maybe I feel disloyal for having good days? Maybe I’ve started to believe these periods of numbness are less protective and more indicative of a lack of sufficient feeling? I should know better; I still can’t sleep without your ashes.
One of my retreat sisters is fostering an infant. And she’s tiny, and beautiful, and I am so indescribably happy for her…and I also miss you so very much.
I think one of the most important things I learned at the retreat is that life goes on. And that fact sucks, but it’s also okay.
I love you.