093 – Wed, Mar 21, 2018, 4:18 PM
March 1, 2019
It’s strange how we perceive change. Today, I can walk 20,000 steps with something like ease. It’s hard to remember the challenge. The change kind of snuck up on me.
Physical Activity is Grounding After Loss
- Posts about physical activity and moving in one’s body
Yoga on a Saturday
January 19, 2019
I remember those early days after loss, when I used to go to yoga just to cry. It was a safe, quiet space, and most people didn’t judge me. It was a release.
070 – Sat, Dec 23, 2017, 9:12 PM
December 1, 2018
I think of all the signs the providers brushed off. I think of the other signs I just didn’t see. My heart hurts. I wish I could go back in time. I wish I had saved you.
048 – Sat, Oct 21, 2017, 8:37 PM
October 1, 2018
I’ve never been very worried about the things most people consider dangerous. I’ve deployed to war zones; I’ve gone scuba diving; I’ve shot handguns, rifles, bow and arrow.
20 Feb 2018 – Flight
February 20, 2018
I found the snow again today. I found flight, and I’m spinning, and it all came back so easily. And I watch as the children go flying down the mountain, and everything feels empty.
20 Feb 2018 – Time
February 20, 2018
I feel unusual in the way that I’ve been counting. I’ve never kept elaborate timelines. My cousin’s wife reminded me when 30 days had passed. I was visiting, and her words took the breath out of me. It always feels like yesterday.
7 Feb 2018 – Beauty
February 7, 2018
This instinct for planning is painful to me. The best parts of my future are still achingly incomplete. I didn’t find him here because I carried him with me. I carry him and the world and the world is so heavy.
