I AM a mother (Archives)

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I AM a mother

Close up of mother holding toddler and stuffed elephant. Mother's eyes are closed and is facing down. Only the top left half of the toddler's face is visible.

Motherhood

I am the mother whose body swelled with pregnancy.
I am the mother who dreamed and wanted and planned.
I am the mother who left my heart in a small and curtained alcove room.
I am the mother who screamed and cried and begged.

Mother's Day message from AdrianJamesHernandez.com

Mother’s Day 2020

To those with children in their arms, and those with children in their hearts: Happy Mothers Day. You are so loved.

California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

082 – Wed, Jan 24, 2018, 3:46 PM

I think about “moving forward”. I think about “trying again”. These words are hurtful. These words feel like I’m trying to replace you. It isn’t possible to replace you.

Adrian's Elephant

072 – Sat, Dec 30, 2017, 10:51 AM

You made me a mother, and my arms ache without you. So I carry your elephant, and I wish you were here, and I think about the crazy duality of this year.

Pinecrest Lake 1 - Feature

26 Feb 2018 – The Nuclear Bomb

I’ve often said that those of us who have experienced tragedy live in a new layer of existence. It’s the thing that defines us now, that marks this transition to this separate world. And I almost said “different” there instead of “separate,” but this is another defining characteristic; because the only thing that is different is each of us. Because we are a world inside of a world, and we are the only ones who know.

Dandelions over Te Ti Bay, Waitanga, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

I AM a Mother, Even after my Child is Gone

When I called the funeral home to ask for a certificate of cremation, they asked for my relation to the deceased. It was the first time I said the words, “I’m his mother.” It still hits me, sometimes, even today. I am a mother. I have a son. I AM a mother.

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