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“and” and anding
- test test testing test
112 – Sat, Jun 16, 2018, 3:59 PM
June 1, 2019
I turned down some “really good acid” today. I never thought I’d find myself in that situation. I never thought I’d find myself in a lot of places.
111 – Sun, Jun 10, 2018, 9:31 PM
June 1, 2019
When I first started writing about you, I felt guilty to feel excitement. I felt guilty in that brief joy and how easily the words flew. The one bright spot in my life was in finding the right words to talk about how much I missed you.
![It's a common question the bereaved experience after loss, particularly if or when a loss may have been preventable:
"Why didn't you..."
It's also a form of distancing; of inserting a barrier in the conversation.
"Why didn't you [insert second-guessing statement here]?
𝘐 would have [insert action].
…(and so this would never have happened 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦)."
And while I understand why you think or say these kinds of things, I need you to understand how very much your words are not helpful.
It's easy to second-guess a situation when you are looking back on it from the outside. It's easy to think or say you would have done things differently, but you don't know for certain.
Nobody knows how they would react to any given situation until they are in the midst of it. And yet people ask these questions anyway.
Please don't.
~
#WordsMatterInSupportAfterLoss
#AJHGraphics #NotesForTheSupportTeam #WordsMatter #LifeAfterLoss #SupportAfterLoss #HowToHelp #HowCanIHelp #SupportTeam #SecondGuessing #ImSorryForYourLoss](https://859537.smushcdn.com/1874986/wp-content/plugins/instagram-feed/img/placeholder.png?lossy=1&strip=1&webp=1)