035 – Tue, Sep 26, 2017 at 11:09 AM

Wild Sunflower in Victoria, British Columbia (Miranda Hernandez)
Wild Sunflower in Victoria, British Columbia (Miranda Hernandez)

When your Aunt Alexis* was leaving, I told her I would be okay. I know she worries about me, and I didn’t want her to feel bad about going. Life has to go on.

When I left you, I kissed your forehead and told you I would be okay. I promised you, because I couldn’t bear the thought of you lingering, worried about me. I couldn’t tie you down to earth when you had never had the chance to live.

I’m not living, without you. My body eats and drinks and works and sleeps. I visit with it sometimes. Sometimes I visit with you. Sometimes I feel you in my arms. Sometimes I see you in visions, memories.

I promised you I would be okay. I hate it, because with you I cannot lie.

Related:

Adrian’s Story: Adrian’s Birth Story
Miranda’s Story: The First Days
Miranda’s Story: Physical Body
Write Your Grief: The Second Death

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