Tue, Dec 12, 2017, 9:42 PM

Miranda's maternity photo (Modern Lux Photography)
Miranda’s maternity photo (Modern Lux Photography)

This picture used to sit on my desk. In those early days I needed it, needed a reminder to remember I was ever pregnant, to remember I was ever real.

 

Miranda's maternity photo (Modern Lux Photography)
Miranda’s maternity photo (Modern Lux Photography)

I loved you from the moment I saw that second blue line. I loved you from my first dream of you. I loved you for so much longer than you were actually alive–Before, and After, and all the spaces in between. I love you.

I look at this picture and I wonder why I don’tĀ grieve for the other person that I lost this year, the innocent soul who gave me you. She deserved to live just as much as you did. She is also gone.

I look at this picture and I feel so very far away from so many things. All I have left is love. I love you.

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