I’ve been re-watching sitcoms again, and in one of my favorite episodes of Dharma and Greg, Dharma goes on a vision quest to rediscover her authentic identity. If you’ve never watched the show, it’s based pretty strongly around a study in contrasts—Dharma is the easy-going, free spirited “hippie chick” who marries her exact opposite: a wealthy attorney who plans every aspect of his life. And I love how they make it work as a couple, and generally bring out the best in each other. It’s a marriage based on balance, and it’s generally pretty beautiful.
But during the episode in question, Dharma realizes how much of her life has changed over the years—while Greg has (somewhat) learned to relax, she’s now a country club member, wearing designer clothing and participating in events the old Dharma would never have known about. And for a while, she thinks she needs to find herself again. (Side note—this trope has always annoyed me in tv, but this show approaches it differently…)
So Dharma goes on her vision quest, and things don’t turn out the way she anticipated. And I think that’s okay. That’s reality; that’s life. And this is what I love about the show—because instead of “going back to her roots” and “rediscovering her identity,” Dharma comes to a more authentic realization—she doesn’t have to. She doesn’t have to rediscover her old self, because who she is as a person is ever-evolving.
It’s okay to make changes in one’s life. It’s okay to find happiness in things that might be also shallow or mundane. It’s okay, because humans are ever-growing and evolving creatures, and Dharma recognizes she is one of them—country club membership and all.
And this is where I find myself today. Because I am also a growing and evolving creature. I am a grieving mother, and I am also so many other things. And this is where I am today—exactly who and where I need to be. And I am both messy and complicated and also uniquely human. And I love being able to accept that and just be okay.
There are some new pieces coming soon, and I am so excited to share them with you. Love to my fellow flawed humans. Love to you all <3