Sparked by cute internet stories, I wrote letters to Adrian throughout my pregnancy. I thought it would be fun for him to read when he was older. I wanted him to know he was so very loved, always.
After Adrian died, I continued to write. It had become a habit, even though I knew he would never read them.
I wonder sometimes if I write for him or for me. I think the answer is—yes.
Letters to Adrian are lightly edited for clarity and mechanics, and to protect privacy. They are otherwise presented exactly as written.
Please note: Some of the letters presented here discuss thoughts of suicide. I am not now actively suicidal, but there was a point in my grief where it was a very real possibility. I include these entries because they are an important part of the story. If you are feeling suicidal, I encourage you to please seek help. I did. I still do.
Miranda Hernandez, Adrian’s Mother