![One of the hardest parts about pregnancy and parenting after loss: Not knowing if the children born after loss would still exist if the loss hadn't happened. - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother](https://adrianselephantpanda2.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/24122643/Not-Knowing-If-The-Children-Born-After-Loss-Would-Exist-If-Loss-Hadnt-Happened-IG-2-300x300.jpg)
If my loss hadn’t happened, would my subsequent child still be here?
Before my daughter existed, I used to wish I could go back in time and save my son. And now, I struggle with this. Even in my imagination, it’s impossible to choose. I love BOTH of them. And I can’t have them both at the same time.