24 March 2021 – The One I Avoided Last Time

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Oddly Inspired by Mother Goose

There’s a psychological construct that’s appropriate. It describes the point at which a human stops taking in new technology. This point is often associated with being elderly, but I think that’s a simplification. There are many elderly tech wizards in the world, for example. Which makes me wonder—what causes this construct, this opposition to change? Is it really about technology, or is it something else entirely?

When I was younger, I thought I was on top of things; “woke”. I may not have understood all of the world pieces being integrated. I still respected them. These journeys are important. Sometimes though, lately, I feel as if I am running out of abstract energy.

And then came Dr Seuss.

Theodore Geisel was one of my favorite people. ‘Sneeches on Beaches’ was one of my favorite books. I remember reading it to my younger brother—him around 2, me reading silly voices even though almost in my teens. And then there was ‘What was I scared of?’ And I should maybe feel silly, but I really don’t, admitting that one of my favorite children’s book’s second main character was an empty pair of green blue jeans. But seriously, it spoke to me. These were the stories I planned to share with my son. These were the books I was excited to receive, wrapped up in cute packaging, back when life was still fine.

And then, again, the world changed.

I honestly don’t know the full story with Dr Seuss. It might make more sense to me if I took time to investigate. The old Miranda would have tried to; I tried to give everything a fair shot. I do feel perhaps embarrassed today, that I simply don’t have it in me. And perhaps more than embarrassed, that this is an argument the old me would have criticized.

Who am I to run out of energy, when the oppressed are fighting literally daily?

And I don’t have an answer here. I don’t know the “right” words or story. Do I throw away all my Dr Seuss books, even the ones with messages of love for my now-deceased child? Some people would say this is the right answer. All I know, in this moment, is that it doesn’t feel right to me.

Complexity.

Posts written in response to prompts from Megan Devine’s Refuge in Grief writing program.
Return to Write Your Grief Homepage

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