The experience of child loss in the military (Archives)

The experience of child loss in the military

Blue and white plate centered on a tan place setting, surrounded by a fork, 2 spoons, and an empty glass. Photo by Alla Hetman on Unsplash

A Southern Scrambled Egg

A compelling story of love, pregnancy, and miscarriage in a southern town; drawn together by author Jackie Perr’s engaging narrative and wit.

A light gray stuffed elephant nestled between sage-green military boots


Someone looked at this website the other day and commented that, if you didn’t know better, you wouldn’t know I was in the military. I never intended to keep this a “secret.” Mainly separate. But how much can you separate of your core identities?

logo of the 2021 Women's Air & Space Power Symposium; image shows a winged cartoon female airman jumping out of the sky into the conference title, on the background of a sunset sky

My Comments at the 2021 Womens’ Air & Space Power Symposium

On 28 June 2017, I was 6 days overdue. It was the height of summer in Texas, and I blasted the AC in my home. I lay down on the couch and watched my son kicking and moving in my belly. He was so active that night! By the time I woke up the following morning, he was dead.

Image of the Air Force memorial at sunset, with the Adrian's Elephant logo superimposed on top (photo from Canva)

For Supervisors: Supporting Military Members after the Loss of a Child 

As a supervisor, the most important thing you can do when supporting a military member after the loss of a child is to understand this loss is significant. Regardless of planning or length of gestation, your military member has lost much more than a pregnancy; they have lost an entire human being.

Close-up on a white envelope sitting on top of a yellowed handwritten letter. The envelope looks weathered. The words, "A Letter to my Commander upon the Occasion of the Death of my Child" are superimposed on top of the image (Vlana, Getty Images)

A Letter to my Commander upon the Occasion of the Death of my Child

Dear Commander; Dear First Sergeant; Dear Supervisor—Child loss as a military member is heartbreaking, and is especially complicated by culture and expectations that bereaved parents should be “strong” when they feel most weak.⁠ ⁠This is what bereaved parents in the military would like you to know.⁠

Explore more of Adrian's Elephant

Scroll to Top