One of the things that bothers me when I share any part of Adrian’s story is this undercurrent of, “But this is so rare. This would never happen to me.” Here is why that attitude is dangerous—
1. At current rates of 1 in 160 pregnancies, stillbirth is not rare. The fact is, you already personally know at least one person in your life who has experienced stillbirth. You likely know many.
2. Even if stillbirth, or any other tragedy, were uncommon enough to be considered rare, you also have to consider impact. If your child were stillborn, what would be the impact on you? And would it be any comfort to you that stillbirth “only” happens in 1 out of 160 pregnancies? Or would it be life-changing, regardless?
Stillbirth is here, and real, and permanent. And when you wake up every day without your living child who should be almost 4 years old, the fact that his death is “rare” becomes pretty meaningless.
1 in 160 feels like such a small number until you put it in context. For the parents of a stillborn child, 1 in 160 will always be one too many.