I’ve written about this moment several times since that day. It is an ever-present memory; I will take it to my grave. I remember the doctor’s face as he said the words, “I’m sorry.” My next memory is of someone screaming. It was me.
my doula during Adrian’s pregnancy and delivery
I think every woman fears the worst case scenario. After my son died, I thought for a while I might have been a tiny bit prescient for sometimes worrying about my pregnancy, but now I wonder if maybe that’s just normal; if maybe every mother worries just a little bit? In the early days, I didn’t have much cause to be concerned.