My worst regret is drinking half a can of Red Bull on those mornings I struggled to get out of bed. In that reality, I know it’s not my fault. I loved you more than life itself.
I don’t know what I could have done differently. You were the very best part of me. And now I’m just empty.
I know what you want to talk about. I know how it pains you when others try to chase your words away. It isn’t a question of guilt. It’s fact — if you had chosen to listen, I would be alive.
Your donor has brown eyes. So do I. I still wonder if yours would have been green or violet or newborn baby blue. I still wonder if I should have waited just one more moment longer–surely you were only sleeping?
Resources
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For Pregnancy & Parenting After Loss
Sea Glass Parenting
Sea Glass Parenting Home
Sea Glass Parenting Facebook Group
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Resource Blogs:
Blog for Resources After Loss
Blog for Safe & Informed Pregnancy
![It's a common question the bereaved experience after loss, particularly if or when a loss may have been preventable:
"Why didn't you..."
It's also a form of distancing; of inserting a barrier in the conversation.
"Why didn't you [insert second-guessing statement here]?
𝘐 would have [insert action].
…(and so this would never have happened 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦)."
And while I understand why you think or say these kinds of things, I need you to understand how very much your words are not helpful.
It's easy to second-guess a situation when you are looking back on it from the outside. It's easy to think or say you would have done things differently, but you don't know for certain.
Nobody knows how they would react to any given situation until they are in the midst of it. And yet people ask these questions anyway.
Please don't.
~
#WordsMatterInSupportAfterLoss
#AJHGraphics #NotesForTheSupportTeam #WordsMatter #LifeAfterLoss #SupportAfterLoss #HowToHelp #HowCanIHelp #SupportTeam #SecondGuessing #ImSorryForYourLoss](https://859537.smushcdn.com/1874986/wp-content/plugins/instagram-feed/img/placeholder.png?lossy=1&strip=1&webp=1)