Equidistance

Miranda and Adrian's Elephant at Esquimalt Lagoon, Victoria, British Columbia
Miranda and Adrian’s Elephant at Esquimalt Lagoon, Victoria, British Columbia (photo used with permission)

I think it’s not yet common knowledge that I conceived through insemination. So while my pregnancy “began” with the start of my menstrual cycle two weeks earlier, I can know for certain that Adrian became a person at his conception on 29 September 2016.

I think sometimes about dates and counting. I carried Adrian’s living body for 39 weeks. I carried his dead body for one additional day. I was pregnant for 41 weeks and one day. Adrian was delivered exactly 9 months ago today. It has been 39 weeks and one day since I delivered him.

I wonder sometimes why this matters to me. There are many milestones I’ve been missing. I wonder how today becomes important. I wonder how this enormity of time can feel so much like yesterday.

I miss my son. Every day. All days. There is never a moment in my life when I don’t wish he is with me. I guess I just feel that more strongly today.

I love you.

Related:
Miranda’s Blog: 18 June 2018, 8:47pm (needs to be posted)
Miranda’s Blog: 21 June 2018, 4:58pm
Miranda’s Blog: 22 June 2018, 9:01am
Miranda’s Blog: 28 June 2018, 8:55pm
Miranda’s Story: 29 June 2017
Miranda’s Blog: 11 July 2018 (needs to be posted)
Write Your Grief: No
Write Your Grief: That Day

💙🐘💙 Miranda’s Blog contains my thoughts on stillbirth, child loss, mental health after loss, pregnancy & parenting after loss, and thoughts on grief positivity & grief support. 💙🐘💙
View the Miranda’s Blog homepage here. | 📬 Subscribe to Updates  📬

Scroll to Top