When I was new in my grief, I had a good friend tell me, “at least you can pregnant.” He almost immediately became my EX-good friend…There is literally no statement that can follow the words “at least” that is in any way supportive or gentle or kind. Nothing. It simply isn’t possible.
There is no “at least” in loss and grief
I have grown as person through the death of my son, But I would give up everything I’ve gained to have not had a reason to
I think our culture idealizes those who use their loss or pain as an impetus for personal growth. While I don’t object to how anyone else chooses to live after loss, I do think it’s important to acknowledge that no matter how much growth is achieved, it is NEVER worth the cost. I would certainly give it all up to have my son at home.
We default to these standard phrases when seeking to comfort others in pain. Unfortunately, these phrases actually make the pain worse..