Shareable Graphics

Shareable Graphics

Close-up image of a framed print stating, "This would have been my child's first day of kindergarten, Marlowe Gordon, Fall 2022". The framed print is sitting next to a blue backpack on the front porch of brick house with a brown front door.

This would have been my child’s first day of school (Customizable!)

Every fall, parents take photos of their children, fresh clothes and backpacks in hand, heading back to school. When a child is deceased, things look a little different, but they can still be included. Download and print these back-to-school graphics to share about your child and where they should be this year.

Why shouldn’t I celebrate today, when I know that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed? -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Celebrating Today because Tomorrow isn’t Guaranteed

Pregnancy after loss can be pretty terrifying. Many people worry about celebrating such a pregnancy, for fear of what would happen if the resultant child died. I understand this. The risk and the fear are both very real. I choose to celebrate anyway.

Life is hard, and we are all struggling at the same time. - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Life is hard, and we are ALL struggling at the same time

If I’ve learned anything in the past 4 years, it is that, despite appearances, we have NO idea what anyone else is going through. All we tend to see is what is on the surface, and the few other glimpses people choose to share. And sometimes, what is shared is far from reality

We don’t have to meet every deadline. We don’t have to greet every day with a perfect smile. Some days require all of my energy to throw back the covers and put my feet on the floor. And on those days, that is my something. And on others, I have learned to bargain. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

You are under no obligation to greet every day with a smile

I used to feel so much pressure to perform; to meet a certain standard at work and in life. And the worst part was, the bulk of this pressure was internal; something I demanded of myself. And then my son died, and I realized I didn’t have it in me to keep up with these illusory standards.

Some things have no bright side. It's okay to acknowledge that. - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Some things have no bright side

We are conditioned to look for the silver lining in everything, but some things simply don’t have one. It’s okay to acknowledge that.

Sometimes I almost "forget" he is gone... And that is its own kind of hurt. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Sometimes I almost “forget” he is gone

Four years out from Adrian’s death, and sometimes it almost feels “normal” to me. New homes; new jobs; and an energetic little one running around—it could almost be a different lifetime.

I will always wish I could have known the color of his eyes. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I will always wish I could have known the color of his eyes

One of the things that isn’t often talked about is that stillborn babies are (usually) born with their eyes closed. And although I explored every inch of Adrian’s body, I couldn’t bring myself to force open his eyes. They will always be a mystery for me.

There is time for everything under the sun. It is always time for grieving. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

It is ALWAYS time for grieving

I know this isn’t the intention, but this passage in Ecclesiastes 3:4 kind of rubs me the wrong way. Why must there be a time for grieving, or any of these things? Why can’t the time be always? There is time for everything under the sun. It is ALWAYS time for grieving.

The most biologically normal thing in the world is death. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Death is biologically normal

I used to lean pretty naturally, thinking that everything in nature was naturally the best. Natural living; natural birthing–these things made sense to me. Humanity had been doing them for millennia. Who was I to question them?

Talking about my dead child isn't a "sad" thing. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Talking about my dead child isn’t a “sad” thing

People who haven’t dealt with tragedy are often made uncomfortable by any mention of the life that remains. It’s as if there is this irrevocable connection between my son’s death and his existence; as if these things are forever entwined instead of merely adjacent.

Thanksgiving can be hard when you're grieving. It's okay if you don't feel like being thankful this year. - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Thanksgiving can be hard when you’re grieving

We can sometimes feel a heavy cultural obligation to find a silver lining in every loss, and to hold onto the adage that there is always something to be thankful for. he truth, though, is that this isn’t always the case.

Holidays are optional - Sea Glass Parenting

Holidays are optional

In case you need permission—you never have to celebrate if you’re not feeling up to it. Holidays are and always can be optional. Give yourself the time and space to spend these days however you need.

Laughter doesn't mean the grief is over - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Laughter doesn’t mean the grief is over

Something I wish people understood is that it’s possible to laugh while you’re dying inside. Laughter doesn’t mean the grief is over. The two things can exist simultaneously.

Notes for the Bereaved -  I'm not going to tell you it gets better.  The truth is, for some people, it doesn't. What I will tell you is that it CAN get better. There is POTENTIAL for happier days. There is hope.  I hold hope for you. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I’m not going to tell you it gets better

One of the common sayings that has bothered me in the past is this sentiment of, “Just hold on. Better days are coming.” The thing is, you can’t know that for certain. Nobody can.

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