The death of a child often turns the world dark. Download this card to show your loved one you are there for them in this darkest of times.
Show up when your loved ones are grieving
Sometimes we need to be blunt about how much it hurts to lose a child. Download this card for a loved one who appreciates outspoken support.
There are never going to be perfect words; words that take away the pain. And so we offer the best words we can: I’m sorry. I love you. I’m here. Download this card to show your loved one you are with them when it hurts.
Nothing can make up for the loss of your child, so I will sit with you while it hurts (Customizable support card)
We are often tempted to look for the ‘bright side’ in loss, but sometimes there is comfort is acknowledging there isn’t one. Download this card to show your loved one you will sit with them when it hurts.
It can be surprisingly helpful to acknowledge that you aren’t an expert about your loved one’s loss, but that you are open to listening. Download this card to show your loved one you are a safe place to share their pain.
People often feel obligated to find a silver lining in every tragedy, but sometimes, there simply isn’t one. This card is a good way to show your loved one that you acknowledge the enormity of a situation that just sucks.
It was months after Adrian’s death, and I was sitting on the couch, trying to focus on mindless TV. It was the point after death where sympathy had mostly evaporated. And I didn’t want casseroles, but damn—I was lonely!
Sometimes people “freeze” after tragedy; unsure what to do or say. And often, there isn’t any perfect thing. But please do SOMETHING; anything to show that you care. You may not be perfect, but your efforts are still appreciated.
“I’m here if you ever want to sit in awkward silence.”
As odd as it sounds, this is one of the most supportive messages I received after the death of my son.
If a loved one comes to you in pain, take a moment and acknowledge your own feelings about the situation. You are allowed to have these feelings. You are allowed to grieve this second-hand grief. But please be cognizant of not reflecting it back on the person who brought it you.
Pregnancy after loss is one of the most beautifully life-affirming and also simultaneously terrifying events your loved ones can experience. If your loved one has shared this news with you, it is likely because they trust you to be there for them, in the bad as well as the good. Be worthy of that trust.
It’s hard to feel sad and helpless when someone you love is struggling after loss. It’s hard to sit there in the darkness and support them when they are most in pain. It’s hard, but if you can do it anyway; if you can accept your helplessless and move forward, you will be more helpful than you know.
There is this trend in modern times, of building all these mental health resources and installing hotlines, but we don’t talk enough about how hard it can be for those who are struggling to pick up the phone. When I was in my darkest place, I didn’t have it in me, most days.
When the bereaved are deep in their grief, they often don’t know what they need. Please consider offering specific things:
I’d like to bring you dinner this evening. Is that okay?
Would you be interested in a walk in the park tomorrow morning?
A simple change in phrasing makes such a difference.
Acknowledge the bereaved parents in your life in the same way you acknowledge parents of living children. Parenthood doesn’t end when children pass away.
Your words may be awkward. You may stumble. You may stick in your foot in your mouth entirely. It’s still okay. What’s important is that you acknowledge the loss. That you embrace the awkwardness. That you show up anyway.