This is a hard one for me, because I know many parents within the loss community use this term and aren’t bothered by it. It bothers me, though.
My child isn’t “a stillborn”.
When I see that term, it makes it seem as if he is an abstract concept; a “thing”. It makes it seem as if his life isn’t honored the same way as any other child’s.
Adrian is a real child, though. He was born. He had a funeral. He has a name. When I speak about him, I prefer to use the term “stillborn” as an adjective: My son is a stillborn child; an individual person; a human being.
I understand not everyone is going to feel this way, and that’s okay. This is just one part that’s important to me. I hope you will respect that, even if you don’t feel the same.
I didn’t have a “stillborn”; I had a stillborn child. He is and always will be a human being.
Pregnancy Blog: “Stillbirth,” “Stillborn,” and Other Definitions
Miranda’s Blog: Good Intentions and Meeting the Bereaved with Understanding
Miranda’s Blog: The Words we Use Matter