In case no one has told you yet—you don’t have to be brave.
You’ve probably heard that word a lot lately: “You’re so brave; I don’t know how you do it.” And it maybe feels a bit disingenuine.
What does “brave” even mean?
Is it waking up in the morning without a catch in your throat when you glance over at the empty crib?
Is it packing away all of the baby things?
Is it putting a smile on your face and pretending you’re not constantly fighting tears at work?
Is it telling people, “oh, I’m okay,” instead of more brutal honesty?
Is this what it means to “brave”?
Because if so, I’m not interested.
…Or maybe, the bravest thing any of us can do is the exact opposite.
Maybe the secret behind this bravery thing is living life and grief with full authenticity—ALL of the tears and NONE of the shame.
That seems pretty darn brave to me.
And just in case you need permission—there is STILL no obligation. No matter how you define brave, it’s always going to be a choice.
And this choice belongs only to you.
Notes for the Bereaved:
You don’t have to be brave.
Bravery is always a choice.