If a loved one comes to you in pain, take a moment and acknowledge your own feelings about the situation. You are allowed to have these feelings. You are allowed to grieve this second-hand grief. But please be cognizant of not reflecting it back on the person who brought it you.
Ring theory in grief
It’s a hallmark of our culture that we like to share stories. It makes us feel less alone in the darkness & this is only good. What hurts, though, is when someone makes assumptions. Be cautious of projecting your experience or your feelings onto your loved one.