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Notes for the Bereaved

Notes for Bereaved Families Living After the Loss of a Child

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Holidays are optional - Sea Glass Parenting

Holidays are optional

In case you need permission—you never have to celebrate if you’re not feeling up to it. Holidays are and always can be optional. Give yourself the time and space to spend these days however you need.

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Notes for the Bereaved -  Losing a child at any age is hard. It doesn't matter how far along you were. It doesn't matter if there was anything "wrong" with the baby or if he or she would not have been compatible with life. It doesn't even matter how many other children you have, either before or after your loss. You are always, always, ALWAYS allowed to feel whatever and however you need.  - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Losing a child at ANY age is hard

It doesn’t matter how far along you were. It doesn’t matter if there was anything “wrong” with the baby or if he or she would not have been compatible with life. It doesn’t even matter how many other children you have, either before or after your loss. You are ALWAYS allowed to feel what you need.

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Notes for the Bereaved -  There is NO time limit on grief. Take whatever time you need. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

There is NO Time Limit on Grief

I was sitting with the patient advocate, and I was surprised to see the tears in his eyes, and they weren’t entirely for me. It turns out he had also lost a child to stillbirth—30 YEARS AGO. And he STILL grieved. Because there is no time limit on grief.

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Notes for the Bereaved -  You don't have to be brave. Bravery is ALWAYS a choice. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

You don’t have to be brave

You’ve probably heard that word a lot lately: “You’re so brave; I don’t know how you do it.” And it maybe feels a bit disingenuine.⁠ What does “brave” even mean?⁠ You don’t have to be brave.

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Explore more of Adrian's Elephant

Collections of Posts on Special Topics

Title: Thoughts on Natural Birth | overlaid on image of Miranda's maternity photo with Adrian (Modern Lux Photography)
Title: Pregnancy After Loss | overlaid on image of Miranda's belly and Adrian's footprints (Two Little Starfish Photography)
Title: Postpartum Body After Loss | overlaid on image of Miranda's belly in Waimea Canyon, Kaua'i (Luna Kai Photography)
Title: People & Relationships | overlaid on image of bench in Winnipeg, British Columbia (Miranda Hernandez)
Title: Parenting After Loss | overlaid on image of Peanut's hands and Adrian's elephant (Miranda Hernandez)
Title: Mental Health After Loss | overlaid on image of Miranda and Adrian's elephant on the California coast (Synch Media)
Title: Guilt, Fault, & Blame | overlaid on image of fountain in San Francisco (Miranda Hernandez)
Title: Grieving Without God | overlaid on image of Miranda on the California coast (Synch Media)
Title: Grief Positivity | overlaid on image of the full moon (Miranda Hernandez)
Title: Grief Olympics or Comparing Grief | overlaid on image of sunset over Lake Tahoe (Miranda Hernandez)
Title: Financial Matters After Loss | overlaid on image of waterlilies (Miranda Hernandez)
Title: Death Positivity | overlaid on image of sunset over Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)
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