Grief is a selfish time…And it should be
November 13, 2021
People say that grief is selfish. I say that it maybe needs to be. Sometimes being selfish is the most important form of self-care possible.
Grief 101
It is ALWAYS time for grieving
November 13, 2021
I know this isn’t the intention, but this passage in Ecclesiastes 3:4 kind of rubs me the wrong way. Why must there be a time for grieving, or any of these things? Why can’t the time be always? There is time for everything under the sun. It is ALWAYS time for grieving.
Talking about my dead child isn’t a “sad” thing
November 13, 2021
People who haven’t dealt with tragedy are often made uncomfortable by any mention of the life that remains. It’s as if there is this irrevocable connection between my son’s death and his existence; as if these things are forever entwined instead of merely adjacent.
Nothing you can do or say will make it “better”…But DOING nothing will make it worse
November 10, 2021
Sometimes people “freeze” after tragedy; unsure what to do or say. And often, there isn’t any perfect thing. But please do SOMETHING; anything to show that you care. You may not be perfect, but your efforts are still appreciated.
Laughter doesn’t mean the grief is over
November 10, 2021
Something I wish people understood is that it’s possible to laugh while you’re dying inside. Laughter doesn’t mean the grief is over. The two things can exist simultaneously.
Of course you miss them!
October 23, 2021
Of course you miss them! They are gone, and they shouldn’t be.
Don’t ever feel ashamed for that. There is no time limit on grief.
Nobody is born knowing how to deal with grief
June 13, 2021
Before Adrian died, I had very little sense of the impact of death. It was an abstract concept to me. I had known people who had died, but nobody close enough to trigger intense grief. And so, when someone in my circle lost a child, I misunderstood.
We need to talk about grief
May 10, 2021
We need to talk about grief.
We need to talk about death & the fact that it happens.
We need to talk about relationships & how they don’t go away even when someone dies.
We need to talk about the realities of loss & the complexities inherent in planning a life for someone who never gets to live it.
There is no Asterisk to the things Allowed in Grief
May 3, 2021
It’s something I experienced, early in my grief: Do what you need, *but understand that eventually you will have to stop grieving and move on. And man, does this hurt! Because who defines this concept of “too much” of anything? Is it really possible to have too much grief? I don’t think so.
Grief isn’t always overwhelming
November 16, 2020
I think one of the hardest things I had to do was accept that grief isn’t always overwhelming. Sometimes it just exists, present but not always screaming.
Neither Death nor Grief are “Reasonable”
November 16, 2020
I’ve seen so many people begin a post about grief with phrases like, “This may sound odd,” or “Sorry if this is weird.” I’ve decided I’m going to stop doing that. Grief doesn’t have to be reasonable. Death certainly isn’t.
