Invitation to share in your deceased child’s favorite activity (memorial birthday invitation)

Miranda Hernandez

If your deceased child were alive today, how might you be celebrating their birthday? Inviting your loved ones to join you in one of your child’s favorite activities is one way to keep their memory alive.

Invitation Text:

In memory of [fill in the blank] Please join us [insert date and time]. We will be [insert activity details]. RSVP to [email].

Sample invitation:

Memorial birthday invitation: If your deceased child were alive today, how might you be celebrating their birthday? Inviting your loved ones to join you in one of your child's favorite activities is one way to keep their memory alive. Download and edit this customizable invitation on your own computer, or visit the Canva template link below to customize in Canva. - Sea Glass Parenting

Downloadable invitation (Some details):

Memorial birthday invitation: In memory of [fill in the blank] Please join us [insert date and time]. We will be [insert activity details]. RSVP to [email]. - Sea Glass Parenting

Downloadable invitation (No details):

Memorial birthday invitation: In memory of [fill in the blank] Please join us [insert date and time]. We will be [insert activity details]. RSVP to [email]. - Sea Glass Parenting

About our Invitations:

All invitations on Adrian’s Elephant were created using templates and elements found in Canva.com and are completely free to download and print for personal purposes. Read more about Canva’s use policies here.

Invitations are sized to print on 7″ x 5″ cardstock, and are also compatible with invitation templates such as those produced by Avery or many other vendors of office supplies. If your template is sized differently than 7″ x 5″, you will need to scale the design to fit. You can also print via many online services or through a local print shop.

Customize this invitation:

All invitations are also customizable via Canva. Some cards may require a Canva subscription for premium elements; click on the individual template for details. (If you don’t have a subscription and only want a single design, please contact me. I will create it for you.)

Right-click and open in new tab to edit this invitation on Canva.com

Support the creation of these & future projects:

Adrian’s Elephant and Sea Glass Parenting will never charge for customizable digital products downloaded directly from this site. (We do charge a nominal fee for downloads from our Etsy shop). If you are moved to support our efforts, we accept tips via Ko-Fi.

Click here to view all of our FREE customizable baby loss sympathy & remembrance cards

Sign up for the Adrian’s Elephant mailing list to be notified of future designs

Additional resources & support for bereaved families:

Sea Glass Parenting; Supporting Bereaved Families in Love & Grief
Resources Homepage for Bereaved Parents & Families
Notes for the Bereaved; Thoughts on Life after Loss
Resources Blog: 30 Ways to Honor Your Deceased Child

Shareable graphics and memes about child loss & grief, pregnancy & parenting after loss, grieving without god, life & authenticity, and informed pregnancy.
Return to Graphics Blog Homepage.

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Trigger Warning

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Wishing you the happiest of Birthdays in the stars (customizable baby loss birthday card)

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There is exactly one way to grieve—YOUR way (Customizable support card)

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Forced Positivity is Toxic

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It’s not your job to make other people feel comfortable

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Sometimes it Just Needs to Suck

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Happy Birthday, I love you (birthday message for deceased child card)

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There are stockings missing this Christmas (Customizable!)

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Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance sticker: "Missing my Pumpkin this Halloween" with an image of a pumpkin, a ghost, and a bat. Sticker is on a scrapbook page with an image of a family at Halloween

Missing my pumpkin(s) this Halloween—Baby Loss Remembrance (sticker)

I’m upset with movies and TV shows for making me think grief was just a phase. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I’m upset with movies and TV shows for making me think grief was just a phase

Notes for the Support Team - Words Matter: Original statement: I wish I could take your pain away. Rewritten: I understand your feelings are important. I would never want to minimize or try to take them away. I will always be here to listen. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I wish I could take your pain away

Notes for the Support Team - Words Matter: Original statement: Look on the bright side. Rewritten: I know that nothing can lessen or make up for this enormous loss, and so I won't try to point you to any bright side. Instead I will simply be here. I'm so sorry for your loss. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Look on the Bright Side

Sometimes I feel like the bereaved live in the "real world" and everyone else lives in the fantasy. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Bereaved Live in the Real World

Notes for the Support Team - A good cheat sheet for pretty much any situation in which another human is upset: "That sounds hard." "Do you want to tell me about it?" "How can I help?" -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

A Good Cheat Sheet for Pretty Much Any Situation in Which Another Human is Upset

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance print: "Missing my child this Summer and Always" next to a yellow ducky float and beach ball and underneath the edge of a swimming pool on a cobblestones background

Remembering my child(ren) this Summer and always—Baby Loss Remembrance (5″ x 7″ printable)

Baby loss greeting card: I know that nothing can make up for this enormous loss, and so I won't point you to any non-existent 'bright side'. Instead, I will sit with you while it hurts. - Sea Glass Parenting

Nothing can make up for the loss of your child, so I will sit with you while it hurts (Customizable support card)

Notes for the Support Team - Words Matter: Original statement: It wasn't your fault. Rewritten: I understand emotions can be complicated, and I'm never going to tell you how you should feel. I am here though, if you ever want to talk about things. I will always be an ear to listen. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

It wasn’t your fault

This would have been my child's first day of preschool. Adrian James, Fall 2022

This would have been my child’s first day of school (Customizable!) (shareable graphic)

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance print: "Thinking of you on your birthday" in red print next to a bear holding pink heart-shaped balloons

Thinking of you on your Birthday—Deceased child Birthday Remembrance (5″ x 7″ printable)

Statement: You're so strong. Response: Inside I am dying.

You’re so Strong!

Baby loss greeting card: In your arms or in your heart, Honoring your fatherhood on Fathers Day and always. - Sea Glass Parenting

In your arms or in your heart…Honoring you this Fathers Day (Customizable Baby Loss Fathers Day card)

Notes for the Bereaved - Of course you miss them! They are gone, and they shouldn't be. Don't ever feel ashamed for that. There is no time limit on grief. - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Of course you miss them!

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance print: "This Halloween there are Pumpkins missing in our house" above an image of two pumpkins with a ghost and a bat

Missing my pumpkin(s) this Halloween—Baby Loss Remembrance (Customizable!) (5″ x 7″ printable)

I am as pro-choice as it is possible to be. I also believe a fetus is a person. It is possible to hold both beliefs simultaneously. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I am Pro-Choice AND I believe a fetus is a person

Life is hard, and we are all struggling at the same time. - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Life is hard, and we are ALL struggling at the same time

Memorial birthday invitation: If beaches and sandcastles remind you on your deceased child, this memorial birthday invitation is the perfect way to honor them on their birthday. Download and edit on your own computer, or visit the Canva template link below to customize in Canva. - Sea Glass Parenting

Building Sandcastles in honor of a deceased child’s birthday (memorial birthday invitation)

Death isn’t something you ever “get over”. It’s something you integrate, and then reintegrate again and again. -Miranda Hernandez Adrian's Mother

Death isn’t something you ever “get over”

Baby loss thank you card: I met you on the worst day of my life, and you helped make it more bearable for me. Thank you for being part of my care team. - Sea Glass Parenting

I met you on the worst day of my life and you helped make it more bearable for me (Customizable Grief Thank You card)

Please don’t ask me how I’m doing unless you’re prepared to hear the truth.

Please don’t ask me how I’m doing unless you’re prepared to hear the truth

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance sticker: "There's a stocking missing this Christmas" in a scrapbook with an image of a Christmas tree

There’s a stocking missing this Christmas—Baby Loss Remembrance (sticker)

My pain has a purpose. Please stop trying to take it away from me. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

My pain has a purpose

Someone should be building a snowman today. - Sea Glass Parenting

Someone should be building a snowman today (Customizable!)

Baby loss greeting card: No words will make your child's death better. So I will simply say: I'm sorry; I love you; and I'm here. - Sea Glass Parenting

No words will make your child’s death better (Customizable support card)

Customizable baby loss birthday memes: In an alternate reality, I'm planning Adrian's 5th birthday celebration - Sea Glass Parenting

In an alternate reality, I’m planning my child’s Xth Birthday Celebration (Customizable!)

Notes for the Support Team - It's hard to feel sad and helpless when someone you love is struggling after loss. It's hard to sit there in the darkness and support them when they are most in pain. But if you can do that—your support means everything. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Accept that you feel helpless and you will be so much more helpful

I did not have "a stillborn". I had a stillborn CHILD; a human being. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I Did not Have “A Stillborn”

Virtual memorial birthday invitation: On the birthday of a deceased child, one of the most comforting things can be gathering together to talk and share memories. This customizable cake-and-balloons-themed invitation invites your friends and family to join you for a virtual celebration. Download and edit on your own computer, or visit the Canva template link below to customize in Canva. - Sea Glass Parenting

Virtual memorial birthday celebration (virtual memorial birthday invitation)

My feelings are authentic and I own them completely. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

My feelings are authentic and I own them completely

What is safe is not always natural & What is natural is not always safe. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Natural vs. Safe

Notes for the Support Team - Words Matter: Original statement: You should be thankful for the children you have. Rewritten: Parenting after loss is an eternal balance. I am always available for babysitting or help around the house if you need a break. It's okay to tend to your grief for your missing child too. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

You should be thankful for the children you have

Notes for the Bereaved - You are under no obligation to keep anyone in your life for any reason. You are allowed to protect your own peace. - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

You are under no obligation to keep anyone in your life

My daughter's birth didn't negate the existence of my son. He won't ever stop existing simply because of a living sibling. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

A Living child doesn’t negate the existence of one who is deceased

You are always always ALWAYS allowed to feel how you feel, with no obligation to cheer up, look on the bright side, or snap out of it. Your feelings are valid and so are you. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

You are always allowed to feel how you feel

Notes for the Support Team - It's easy to disappear in times of tragedy. It's hard to live with yourself afterwards. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

It’s Both Easy & Hard to Disappear After Loss

Notes for the support team - "Good intentions" are best revealed by changing behavior you've been informed is hurtful.

“Good intentions” are best revealed by changing behavior you’ve been informed is hurtful

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance sticker: "I wonder who you would have dressed up this year" in white text underneath and image of a ghost holding a pumpkin and broom. The sticker is on a scrapbook page with an image of children at Halloween

I wonder who you would have dressed up as this year—Baby Loss Halloween Remembrance (sticker)

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance print: "Someone should be building a snowman today; Missing my child this Winter and Always" next to a single snowman on a background of white snow and a dark blue night sky

Someone should be building a Snowman today—Baby Loss Winter Remembrance (5″ x 7″ printable)

The month of October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness month. Honoring all children lost too soon, including my child: [fill in the blank] - Sea Glass Parenting

Please Honor my Child during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month (Customizable!)

Baby loss birthday card: Before I ever carried the pain, I carried you. And in my heart, I carry you still - Rachel Whalen. Thinking of you with so much love on your birthday and all year round - Sea Glass Parenting

Before I ever carried the pain, I carried you. And in my heart, I carry you still – Rachel Whalen (baby loss birthday card)

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance print: "Happy Birthday little one. You are loved; You are missed; You are celebrated, today and always" in maroon lettering on a blue background underneath a banner spelling out Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday little one. You are loved, missed, and celebrated—Birthday wishes for deceased child (5″ x 7″ printable)

Gentle wishes for bereaved Dads on Father's Day. May the day be kind. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Father’s Day

Baby loss greeting card: I'm not going to pretend to know how you feel. I am here to listen though, if you ever want to talk or cry or scream. -Always- - Sea Glass Parenting

I’m not going to pretend to know how you feel (Customizable support card)

Sometimes I'm just— Tired. An exhaustion that goes beyond the surface; an exhaustion that is more than just physical. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Sometimes, I’m just—Tired

Everything says it's not my fault, but does it really matter? Are you any less gone?

Can we talk about the phrase, “It’s not your fault”?

Losing Adrian taught me what some of the relationships in my life were really made of. In some cases, it was knowledge I didn't want to know. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Loss taught me what the relationships in my life are made of

If you ask a widow about the worst kind of grief, they are going to say it’s losing a spouse. If you ask a bereaved parent about the worst kind of grief, they are going to say it’s losing a child. ...And they are both correct. Grief is not a competition. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Grief is not a Competition

Notes for the Support Team - Words Matter: Original statement: Everything is going to be fine. Rewritten: I'm not going to tell you everything is going to be fine. I understand grief is hard, and no amount of positive thinking is going to make up for the loss of your child. So I will simply tell you that I love you, and I'm here for whatever you need. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Everything is going to be fine

Rare is little comfort when it happens to you. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

“Rare” is little comfort when it happens to you

Even as a bereaved parent, I still don't always know the right words to say. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

The Bereaved Don’t Always Have Words Either

Notes for the Bereaved - You are under no obligation to turn your tragedy into something beautiful. You are allowed, todays and always, simply to exist. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

No Obligation to turn Tragedy into Beauty

Baby loss greeting card: I'm so sorry for your loss. Your child deserved a lifetime of love with you here on earth - Sea Glass Parenting

Your child deserved a lifetime of love with you here on earth (Customizable sympathy card)

When my child died, I thought about suicide - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Elephant

When my child died, I thought about Suicide

Memorial birthday poem card: If they asked me to describe you, I would start with your eyes. Though I never got to see your eyes; just your long eyelashes. If they asked about your first word, I would have to shrug. (Though statistically of course, it's almost always "Dada". ) If they asked about my hopes for you, my biggest hope was always that you would have felt loved. It was important to me that you feel loved. I think about these things we've missed; these forks in other roads. I think about the life that lives on only in my mind. If they asked me to describe you, I would start with your eyes—At once both real and ambiguous,; unknowable outside of mine. Happy Birthday to my little one. You will always live in every part of my life. (Words by Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother) - Sea Glass Parenting

Thinking of you on your birthday; and all the memories we’ve missed (memorial birthday poem card)

Notes for the Support Team - Words Matter: Original statement: It's time to move on. Rewritten: I understand you grieve for and miss your child. What can I do to help you honor them today? -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

It’s time to move on

This random act of kindness performed in memory of : [fill in the blank]. Please pass the kindness along to help keep their memory alive.

This random act of kindness performed in memory of… (Customizable RAK cards)

I will always wish I could have known the color of his eyes. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I will always wish I could have known the color of his eyes

Baby loss greeting card: Thinking of you….And holding you and your child in my heart. Please know that I love you and I am ALWAYS here for whatever you need. -Always- - Sea Glass Parenting

Thinking of you and your child and holding you both in my heart (Customizable remembrance card)

My child died and I am thoroughly uninterested in being "strong" about it.

My child died, and I am thoroughly uninterested in being “strong” about it

Notes for the Support Team - Words Matter: Original statement: He/She is with you in spirit. Rewritten: It must be so hard that he isn't physically here with you. What do you think he might be doing today if he were? -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

He/She is with you in spirit

I have the right to feel how I feel, for as long as I feel it, regardless of circumstances or whether someone else feels differently. -Miranda Hernandez Adrian's Mother

I have the right to feel how I feel

Original Statement: Grief is a passage, not a place to stay. Rewritten: Grief IS. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Grief is a Passage, not a Place to Stay

What's with this expectation that grief should be "reasonable"? Death certainly isn't reasonable. Grieve however you need. -Miranda Hernandez Adrian's Mother

Neither Death nor Grief are “Reasonable”

“Healing” from the death of my child is about as likely as regrowing a missing limb. -Miranda Hernandez Adrian's Mother

“Healing” from the death of my child is about as likely as regrowing a missing limb.

Children. Aren't. Replaceable. Speech bubbles: "Don't you have other children?" "Are you guys trying?" "Things will be so much better when your new baby gets here" "My cousin adopted" "Blah blah blah"

Children. Aren’t. Replaceable

“I did it and I was fine.” This is called survivors bias. Your singular experience is neither proof nor promise that dangerous things won't hurt other people. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Survivor’s Bias

Sea Glass Parenting Grief Awareness print: "Still grieving? Still dead? Still a parent" - Always grieving. Always dead. Always a parent." in blue and white lettering on a gradient green-blue background

Still vs. Always: Grieving; Dead; My Child’s Parent—Grief Awareness (5″ x 7″ printable)

Baby loss greeting card: Thinking of you and your child. You are both so loved. - Sea Glass Parenting

Thinking of you and your child; You are both so loved (Customizable remembrance card)

Notes for the Support Team - When someone is in the thick of grief, "someday" is pretty meaningless. Sit with them in the hard parts, today, instead. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

“Someday” is Meaningless

My experience feels a lot more valid when I remove all the “buts”. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

My experience feels a lot more valid when I remove all the “buts”

Notes for the Support Team - Be cautious of projecting your experience or your feelings onto your loved one. Even under similar circumstances, their experience is likely to be different than yours. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Be Cautious of Projecting Your Feelings

Sharing about my deceased child doesn't mean that I'm stuck or broken or even that I am hurting. It simply means I am a parent.

Parenting in Loss; Sharing about my Deceased Child

There is no asterisk to the things that are allowed in the grief experience. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

There is no Asterisk to the things Allowed in Grief

Grief is a selfish time. But being selfish is not inherently wrong. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Grief is a selfish time…And it should be

If you genuinely want to comfort a grieving person, remove these words from your vocabulary: “But”, “Strong”, “Brave”, “At Least”. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

If you genuinely want to comfort a bereaved person, remove these words from your vocabulary

Notes for the Bereaved - Sometimes the most meaningful thing anyone can say to you is "This fucking sucks." Because it does. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Sometimes the most meaningful thing anyone can say is, “This fucking sucks.”

I constantly wish someone had told me stillbirth was SO VERY COMMON. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I Wish Someone Had Told Me Stillbirth Was So Common

I miss the days when I still believed all you needed was a good attitude. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I miss the days when I still believed all you needed was a good attitude

I'm lighting a candle in honor of my son Adrian. 15 October is International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. - Sea Glass Parenting

I’m lighting a candle in honor of my child (Customizable!)

Notes for the Support Team - Simply telling someone not to feel a certain way will never have the desired result. Instead, ask questions about their feelings. Acknowledge and understand without trying to change. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

You can’t order someone to feel a certain way

Tragedy is not a one-time event. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Tragedy is not a one-time event

Time doesn't "heal" anything, not by itself. Medical care and self-care can be healing, if desired. Time is only a measure of the length of the process. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Time doesn’t heal anything, not by itself

The body keeps a calendar completely separate from the mind. Some days just have to be felt. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

The Body Keeps a Calendar Separate from the Mind

Sea Glass Parenting Grief Awareness sticker: "Still grieving? Still dead? Still a parent?...Always grieving. Always dead. ALWAYS a parent" on a beige notebook

Still vs. Always: Grieving; Dead; My Child’s Parent—Grief Awareness (sticker)

Original Statement: Still Grieving? Still dead. Still a parent. Rewritten statement: Always grieving. Always dead. ALWAYS a parent.

Still/Always

Death changes you. Permanently. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Death Changes You. Permanently.

Baby loss thank you card: Thank you for being part of my care team. Your kindness helped make this experience more bearable for me. - Sea Glass Parenting

Thank you for being part of my care team (Customizable Grief Thank You card)

I am parenting my child after their death. I am a Sea Glass Parent. - Sea Glass Parenting

I am Sea Glass Parent; Parenting my child after their death

We need to talk about grief. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

We need to talk about grief

Sea Glass Parenting Stillbirth Awareness sticker: "1 in 160 is NOT rare; It's a freaking emergency. #StillbirthHappens #LetsTalkAboutIt" in a white notebook

1 in 160 isn’t ‘Rare’; It’s a Freaking Emergency—Stillbirth Awareness (sticker)

Trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility. Rewritten: Trauma is not your fault.

“Trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility”

Notes for the Bereaved - You are allowed to have uncomfortable and inconvenient feelings. You are allowed to feel anger, shame, embarrassment, or guilt. You are allowed to feel jealous. Child loss is hard. Life in general is hard, and humans are imperfect creatures. Feel whatever you need to feel. - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

You are allowed to have uncomfortable and inconvenient feelings

Positivity is a choice, and not one you can make for other people. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Positivity is a choice, and not one you can make for other people

We don’t have to meet every deadline. We don’t have to greet every day with a perfect smile. Some days require all of my energy to throw back the covers and put my feet on the floor. And on those days, that is my something. And on others, I have learned to bargain. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

You are under no obligation to greet every day with a smile

I am thankful for my daughter and also missing my son at the same time. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Thankful AND Grieving, at the Same Time

Refusing to talk about or even consider that death happens is not going to keep it from happening. Death isn't Rumpelstiltskin. It doesn't work that way. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Refusing to Talk About Death; Death Isn’t Rumpelstiltskin

Baby loss greeting card: I'm not going to BS you by trying to make your tragedy "better," so I'm simply going to say: This sucks & I'm here. Like, REALLY here—Not only to pick up your groceries or walk your dog, but for all of the messy parts that come with loss, too: Cancelling appointments, planning a funeral—Even if you just want to call me at 3am to vent or cry or scream—You name it and I'm here. ALWAYS. - Sea Glass Parenting

I’m not going to BS you; This Sucks (Customizable support card)

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance sticker: "Someone should be building a snowman today" on a scrapbook page with an image of a snowy day

Someone should be building a snowman today—Baby Loss Winter Remembrance (sticker)

Baby loss greeting card: I love you…so much. I'm so sorry for your loss. - Sea Glass Parenting

I love you so much. I’m so sorry for your loss. (Customizable sympathy card)

Baby loss greeting card: As much as I hate that the experience of child loss is so common, I am also thankful for the companionship and community I've found with fellow bereaved parents like you. Thank you for being one of the good parts of my new world. - Sea Glass Parenting

As much as I hate that child loss is so common, I am thankful for community with bereaved parents like you (Customizable thank you card)

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance print: "My beautiful child--Please know I am ALWAYS thinking of you" in dark red lettering next to a bear holding red and pink balloons

My Beautiful child—Please know I am ALWAYS thinking of you (5″ x 7″ printable)

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