Forced Positivity is Toxic

Positivity has become such a buzzword in our culture: “Be positive”; “Think positive”, etc. And while positivity may have its place, it’s also important to recognize that sometimes it’s simply not beneficial.

When I was struggling with life after the death of my child, people told me to “stay positive.” I still wonder what in the world that could mean? Should I be positive about the fact that my son died? Should I look for a bright side and be upbeat? Should I try to find some kind of silver lining?

But why?

And why, if I don’t want to do this, is this obligation forced on me?

Some people do choose to find positivity after loss, and I think that’s great. I think it’s an example of the many ways different people respond differently. But it’s not what I choose. And in my opinion, feelings must be an individual choice.

Positivity must be an individual choice.

And forced positivity, then, becomes toxic.

Forced positivity is toxic.

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