Death is biologically normal

Miranda Hernandez

I used to lean pretty naturally, thinking that everything in nature was naturally the best. Natural living; natural birthing–these things made sense to me. Humanity had been doing them for millennia. Who was I to question them?

I don’t know why I never made the connection, before. I don’t know why I never realized that nature wasn’t perfect. I don’t know why I never thought about the rates of infant mortality in previous generations, or even the average age or lifespan. The thing is, these things are ALL natural.

And nature, unfortunately, is pretty darn deadly.

The most biologically normal thing in the world is death.

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Categories: Death Positivity, Shareable Graphics
Tags: Nature isn't perfect, Graphics for child loss and grief, Graphics for life and authenticity

Shareable graphics and memes about child loss & grief, pregnancy & parenting after loss, grieving without god, life & authenticity, and informed pregnancy.
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Notes for the Support Team - It's easy to disappear in times of tragedy. It's hard to live with yourself afterwards. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

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Birthday wishes for deceased loved one card: Happy Birthday little one. You are loved; You are missed. You are celebrated, today and always. Wishing you the happiest of birthdays - Sea Glass Parenting

Happy Birthday little one. You are loved, missed, and celebrated. (birthday wishes for deceased loved one card)

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Losing Adrian taught me what some of the relationships in my life were really made of. In some cases, it was knowledge I didn't want to know. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

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Notes for the Support Team - You aren't going to be perfect. Show up anyway. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

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Notes for the Support Team - Words Matter: Original statement: I would never survive it. Rewritten: I haven't experienced your pain, so I can only imagine what it feels like. I am here for you though, if you ever want to talk about your experience or your child. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

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Notes for the support team - "Good intentions" are best revealed by changing behavior you've been informed is hurtful.

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Sea Glass Parenting Grief Awareness print: "Still grieving? Still dead? Still a parent" - Always grieving. Always dead. Always a parent." in blue and white lettering on a gradient green-blue background

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Sea Glass Parenting Grief Awareness sticker: "Sharing about my deceased child doesn't mean I'm stuck or broken or even that I'm actively hurting. It simply means I am a parent - Miranda Hernandez" in blue lettering on a white backdrop with a pastel ocean-themed border. Sticker is in the upper right corner of a silver laptop on a pink background

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Memorial birthday invitation: If your deceased child were alive today, how might you be celebrating their birthday? Inviting your loved ones to join you in one of your child's favorite activities is one way to keep their memory alive. Download and edit this customizable invitation on your own computer, or visit the Canva template link below to customize in Canva. - Sea Glass Parenting

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The month of October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness month. Honoring all children lost too soon, including my child: [fill in the blank] - Sea Glass Parenting

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Memorial birthday card: One of the most beautiful ways to honor a deceased loved one on their birthday is to perform acts of kindness for other people. Use this customizable card to invite your loved ones to perform acts of kindness with you. - Sea Glass Parenting

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Sea Glass Parenting Grief Awareness sticker: "Still grieving? Still dead? Still a parent?...Always grieving. Always dead. ALWAYS a parent" on a beige notebook

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I am as pro-choice as it is possible to be. I also believe a fetus is a person. It is possible to hold both beliefs simultaneously. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

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Baby loss greeting card: I'm not going to BS you by trying to make your tragedy "better," so I'm simply going to say: This sucks & I'm here. Like, REALLY here—Not only to pick up your groceries or walk your dog, but for all of the messy parts that come with loss, too: Cancelling appointments, planning a funeral—Even if you just want to call me at 3am to vent or cry or scream—You name it and I'm here. ALWAYS. - Sea Glass Parenting

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I wish I could take your pain away

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You are allowed to have uncomfortable and inconvenient feelings

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Everything is going to be fine

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I know how you feel

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Let me know what you need

Everything says it's not my fault, but does it really matter? Are you any less gone?

Can we talk about the phrase, “It’s not your fault”?

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“Trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility”

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I’m upset with movies and TV shows for making me think grief was just a phase

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Talking about my dead child isn’t a “sad” thing

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When you tell me I’m “strong” or “brave,” it feels less like a description and more like a command

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Tragedy is not a one-time event

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If my loss hadn’t happened, would my subsequent child still be here?

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This fucking sucks and I’m here for you (Customizable support card)

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If a bereaved parent feels guilt or blame about their loss, simply telling them not to feel that way is not a solution. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

If a bereaved parent feel guilt or blame about their loss…

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It’s not your job to make other people feel comfortable

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance sticker: "Our nest feels emptier without you here" in the corner of a silver laptop on a pink table

Our nest feels emptier without you here—Baby Loss Remembrance (sticker)

"It's okay to not be okay as long as you don't stay that way" Rewritten: It's okay to not be okay.

It’s okay to not be okay (as long as you don’t stay that way)

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I would paint the sky with their names if I could (Customizable remembrance card)

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“Rare” is little comfort when it happens to you

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‘Rare’ is little comfort when it happens to you—Stillbirth break the silence; 1 in 160 (sticker)

You are always always ALWAYS allowed to feel how you feel, with no obligation to cheer up, look on the bright side, or snap out of it. Your feelings are valid and so are you. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

You are always allowed to feel how you feel

“Healing” from the death of my child is about as likely as regrowing a missing limb. -Miranda Hernandez Adrian's Mother

“Healing” from the death of my child is about as likely as regrowing a missing limb.

Grief isn’t sadness. Grief isn’t loss. Grief is what lives in those left behind. -Miranda Hernandez. Adrian's Mother

Grief is not Sadness; Sadness is not Grief

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Natural vs. Safe

"1 in 160" feels like such a small number until you put it in context. For the parents of a stillborn child, 1 in 160 will always be one too many. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Stillbirth is NOT “Rare”

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It wasn’t your fault

Sometimes I almost "forget" he is gone... And that is its own kind of hurt. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Sometimes I almost “forget” he is gone

Grief is a selfish time. But being selfish is not inherently wrong. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Grief is a selfish time…And it should be

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At least…

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance sticker: "Family lasts as long as love—Forever" on a pink scrapbook page with an image of a family and a teddy bear

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Even as a bereaved parent, I still don't always know the right words to say. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

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Baby loss greeting card: When the night is darkest, you are loved and I am here. - Sea Glass Parenting

When the night is darkest, you are loved (Customizable support card)

Birthday message for deceased child card: Happy Birthday, [Fill in name]. I love you - Sea Glass Parenting

Happy Birthday, I love you (birthday message for deceased child card)

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance print: "Remembering my child at Thanksgiving and all year round" in white lettering on a brown table underneath a Thanksgiving meal

Remembering my child(ren) this Thanksgiving and all year round—Baby Loss Remembrance (5″ x 7″ printable)

Often when I share about my deceased child, people rush to give advice or hugs. I don't always need that, though. Often, all I really need is for you to listen. - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Often all I need is for you to listen

Memorial birthday wishes card: This year on your Birthday, I'll blow out your candles for you. And my wish will be a promise to love and remember you always. Happy Birthday to my beautiful baby boy - Sea Glass Parenting

This year on your birthday, I’ll blow out your candles for you (memorial birthday wishes card)

Notes for the Bereaved - There is NO time limit on grief. Take whatever time you need. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

There is NO Time Limit on Grief

Notes for the Support Team - When someone is in the thick of grief, "someday" is pretty meaningless. Sit with them in the hard parts, today, instead. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

“Someday” is Meaningless

Prayer is appreciated… ...When it has been invited. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Prayer is appreciated…when it has been invited

Notes for the Bereaved - You don't have to be brave. Bravery is ALWAYS a choice. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

You don’t have to be brave

Notes for the Bereaved - You are under no obligation to turn your tragedy into something beautiful. You are allowed, todays and always, simply to exist. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

No Obligation to turn Tragedy into Beauty

Sharing about my deceased child doesn't mean that I'm stuck or broken or even that I am hurting. It simply means I am a parent.

Parenting in Loss; Sharing about my Deceased Child

Notes for the Support Team - A good cheat sheet for pretty much any situation in which another human is upset: "That sounds hard." "Do you want to tell me about it?" "How can I help?" -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

A Good Cheat Sheet for Pretty Much Any Situation in Which Another Human is Upset

My child died and I am thoroughly uninterested in being "strong" about it.

My child died, and I am thoroughly uninterested in being “strong” about it

I am parenting my child after their death. I am a Sea Glass Parent. - Sea Glass Parenting

I am Sea Glass Parent; Parenting my child after their death

We need to talk about grief. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

We need to talk about grief

I'm lighting a candle in honor of my son Adrian. 15 October is International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. - Sea Glass Parenting

I’m lighting a candle in honor of my child (Customizable!)

I have the right to feel how I feel, for as long as I feel it, regardless of circumstances or whether someone else feels differently. -Miranda Hernandez Adrian's Mother

I have the right to feel how I feel

Statement: You're so strong. Response: Inside I am dying.

You’re so Strong!

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance print: "Our nest feels emptier without you here" in black lettering above a scene with two birds sitting on a nest, nestled in green grass

Our nest feels emptier without you here—Baby Loss Remembrance (5″ x 7″ printable)

Baby loss thank you card: Thank you for being part of my care team. Your kindness helped make this experience more bearable for me. - Sea Glass Parenting

Thank you for being part of my care team (Customizable Grief Thank You card)

I deserve enthusiastic support, both in life and in grief. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I Deserve Enthusiastic Support Both in Life and Grief

Notes for the Support Team - Words Matter: Original statement: It's time to move on. Rewritten: I understand you grieve for and miss your child. What can I do to help you honor them today? -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

It’s time to move on

Baby loss greeting card: I know that nothing can make up for this enormous loss, and so I won't point you to any non-existent 'bright side'. Instead, I will sit with you while it hurts. - Sea Glass Parenting

Nothing can make up for the loss of your child, so I will sit with you while it hurts (Customizable support card)

Notes for the Support Team - Acknowledge bereaved parents on Mothers' and Fathers' Day. Parenthood NEVER ends. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Acknowledge Bereaved Parents on Mothers and Fathers Day

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance sticker: "In life after loss, I hold pain and joy at the same time. Life is complicated that way, as am I" on a scrapbook page with an image of a person dancing at sunset

In life after loss, I hold pain and joy at the same time—Grief Awareness (sticker)

I too used to believe tragedy was the thing that happened to other people. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I too used to believe tragedy was the thing that happened to other people.

Birthday wishes after death card: Thinking of you with love on your child's Birthday. [Blank inside.] - Sea Glass Parenting

Thinking of you on your child’s birthday [Blank inside] (birthday wishes after death card)

Notes for the Support Team - Simply telling someone not to feel a certain way will never have the desired result. Instead, ask questions about their feelings. Acknowledge and understand without trying to change. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

You can’t order someone to feel a certain way

Thankfulness is not a cure for grief

Dear Prenatal Provider— Please educate your patients about stillbirth. We deserve to know the facts. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Dear Prenatal Provider—Please educate your patients about stillbirth

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance print: "Missing my child this Summer and Always" next to a yellow ducky float and beach ball and underneath the edge of a swimming pool on a cobblestones background

Remembering my child(ren) this Summer and always—Baby Loss Remembrance (5″ x 7″ printable)

Notes for the Support Team - Words Matter: Original statement: Look on the bright side. Rewritten: I know that nothing can lessen or make up for this enormous loss, and so I won't try to point you to any bright side. Instead I will simply be here. I'm so sorry for your loss. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Look on the Bright Side

Notes for the Bereaved - Losing a child at any age is hard. It doesn't matter how far along you were. It doesn't matter if there was anything "wrong" with the baby or if he or she would not have been compatible with life. It doesn't even matter how many other children you have, either before or after your loss. You are always, always, ALWAYS allowed to feel whatever and however you need. - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Losing a child at ANY age is hard

There is no asterisk to the things that are allowed in the grief experience. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

There is no Asterisk to the things Allowed in Grief

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance print: "Someone should be jumping in Autumn leaves today" in brown lettering on a background of green hills, a bare tree, and a pile of orange, red, and brown leaves

Someone should be jumping in Autumn leaves today—Baby Loss Fall Remembrance (5″ x 7″ printable)

Baby loss greeting card: Thinking of you and your child. You are both so loved. - Sea Glass Parenting

Thinking of you and your child; You are both so loved (Customizable remembrance card)

Original Statement: Grief is a passage, not a place to stay. Rewritten: Grief IS. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Grief is a Passage, not a Place to Stay

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance print: "Remembering the stockings missing this Christmas" in blue lettering above a fireplace with 3 stockings and next to a small Christmas tree

Remembering the stockings missing this Christmas—Baby Loss Remembrance (5″ x 7″ printable)

“I did it and I was fine.” This is called survivors bias. Your singular experience is neither proof nor promise that dangerous things won't hurt other people. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Survivor’s Bias

Please don’t ask me how I’m doing unless you’re prepared to hear the truth.

Please don’t ask me how I’m doing unless you’re prepared to hear the truth

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance print: "Happy Birthday little one. You are loved; You are missed; You are celebrated, today and always" in maroon lettering on a blue background underneath a banner spelling out Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday little one. You are loved, missed, and celebrated—Birthday wishes for deceased child (5″ x 7″ printable)

Notes for the Bereaved - You don’t have to "heal" if you don't want to. Grief isn't a disease. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

You don’t have to heal if you don’t want to

If you genuinely want to comfort a grieving person, remove these words from your vocabulary: “But”, “Strong”, “Brave”, “At Least”. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

If you genuinely want to comfort a bereaved person, remove these words from your vocabulary

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance sticker: "I wonder who you would have dressed up this year" in white text underneath and image of a ghost holding a pumpkin and broom. The sticker is on a scrapbook page with an image of children at Halloween

I wonder who you would have dressed up as this year—Baby Loss Halloween Remembrance (sticker)

When my child died, I thought about suicide - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Elephant

When my child died, I thought about Suicide

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance sticker: "Missing my Pumpkin this Halloween" with an image of a pumpkin, a ghost, and a bat. Sticker is on a scrapbook page with an image of a family at Halloween

Missing my pumpkin(s) this Halloween—Baby Loss Remembrance (sticker)

Notes for the Support Team: Nothing makes it better, but doing nothing makes it worse. - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Nothing you can do or say will make it “better”…But DOING nothing will make it worse

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance print: "I imagine you jumping in freshly-raked leaves, hunting for pinecones, and planning a picnic. These are memories we should be making. You should be here. I am thinking of and missing you this Autumn and Always" on an abstract background of pink and brown shapes with orange, green, and yellow leaves

All the Autumn memories we should be making—Missing my child in Autumn (5″ x 7″ printable)

Why shouldn’t I celebrate today, when I know that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed? -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Celebrating Today because Tomorrow isn’t Guaranteed

Thanksgiving can be hard when you're grieving. It's okay if you don't feel like being thankful this year. - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Thanksgiving can be hard when you’re grieving

My child should have been starting preschool this month. #StillbirthSucks - Sea Glass Parenting

My child should have been starting school this month (Customizable!)

Notes for the Support Team - Pregnancy after loss is one of the most beautifully life-affirming and also simultaneously terrifying events your loved ones can experience. If your loved one has shared this news with you, it is likely because they trust you. Be worthy of that trust. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Mirror Reality in Pregnancy After Loss

My son Adrian James should have been going back to school this week too. Sea Glass Parenting

My child should have been going back to school this week too (Customizable!)

Someone should be building a snowman today. - Sea Glass Parenting

Someone should be building a snowman today (Customizable!)

Sometimes it just needs to suck. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Sometimes it Just Needs to Suck

"Dead" is not a dirty word. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

“Dead” is not a dirty word (B/W)

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance print: "My beautiful child--Please know I am ALWAYS thinking of you" in dark red lettering next to a bear holding red and pink balloons

My Beautiful child—Please know I am ALWAYS thinking of you (5″ x 7″ printable)

Sea Glass Parenting baby loss remembrance shareable Instagram post: "I wonder who you would have dressed up as this year" in white text next to a cute ghost wearing a witch's hat, and carrying a broom and a pumpkin on a background of a dark Halloween night

I wonder who you have would have dressed up this Halloween

You may find it "triggering" to hear about the death of my child. Imagine how much harder it is to live with it. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Trigger Warning

Notes for the Support Team - Your pain is important. Their pain is MORE important. Don't ask them to bear the burden of comforting you. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Your pain is important. Their pain is MORE important.

We don’t have to meet every deadline. We don’t have to greet every day with a perfect smile. Some days require all of my energy to throw back the covers and put my feet on the floor. And on those days, that is my something. And on others, I have learned to bargain. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

You are under no obligation to greet every day with a smile

You are under no obligation to be healed—Not today, and not at any point in the future. It is always always ALWAYS okay not to be okay. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

You are under no obligation to be healed

Baby loss greeting card: Wishing you the happiest of birthdays in the stars. You are loved. You are missed. You are celebrated, today and always. - Sea Glass Parenting

Wishing you the happiest of Birthdays in the stars (customizable baby loss birthday card)

If you ask a widow about the worst kind of grief, they are going to say it’s losing a spouse. If you ask a bereaved parent about the worst kind of grief, they are going to say it’s losing a child. ...And they are both correct. Grief is not a competition. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Grief is not a Competition

Notes for the Bereaved - Of course you miss them! They are gone, and they shouldn't be. Don't ever feel ashamed for that. There is no time limit on grief. - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Of course you miss them!

Public Service Announcement: Back Up Your Photos. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Public Service Announcement: Back Up Your Photos

Baby loss greeting card: Thinking of you….And holding you and your child in my heart. Please know that I love you and I am ALWAYS here for whatever you need. -Always- - Sea Glass Parenting

Thinking of you and your child and holding you both in my heart (Customizable remembrance card)

Baby loss birthday card: Before I ever carried the pain, I carried you. And in my heart, I carry you still - Rachel Whalen. Thinking of you with so much love on your birthday and all year round - Sea Glass Parenting

Before I ever carried the pain, I carried you. And in my heart, I carry you still – Rachel Whalen (baby loss birthday card)

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance print: "[Insert name] I would the sky with your name if I could" in white lettering on a background of dark blue and purple starry sky

I would paint the sky with your name if I could—Baby Loss Remembrance (Customizable!) (5″ x 7″ printable)

Adoption is a beautiful, beautiful thing... It is not the "solution" to the "problems" of child loss or grief. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Adoption is not a “solution” to the “problems” of child loss or grief

Notes for the Support Team - Words Matter: Original statement: He/She wouldn't want you to be sad. Rewritten: It's understandable that you are sad. He is gone and he shouldn't be. It makes sense that you will grieve as long as you need. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

He/She wouldn’t want you to be sad

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Comfort after Loss print: "When the night is darkest, Remember you are loved" in white words across a dark background of clouds and stars

When the night is darkest, Remember you are loved—Baby Loss Comfort (5″ x 7″ printable)

Memorial birthday card: On your daughter's Birthday—Although I never met her, please know your daughter made an impact on my world. And this year, on her birthday, I am thinking of you both with so much love. - Sea Glass Parenting

On your child’s birthday, please know they made an impact on my world (memorial birthday card)

Sea Glass Parenting Baby Loss Remembrance sticker: "Missing someone special at our table this year" in white lettering underneath a Thanksgiving meal and a teddy bear. Sticker is on a scrapbook page with an image of a family meal

Missing someone special at our table this year—Baby Loss Thanksgiving Remembrance (sticker)

I am thankful for my daughter and also missing my son at the same time. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Thankful AND Grieving, at the Same Time

Baby loss thank you card: I met you on the worst day of my life, and you helped make it more bearable for me. Thank you for being part of my care team. - Sea Glass Parenting

I met you on the worst day of my life and you helped make it more bearable for me (Customizable Grief Thank You card)

Baby loss greeting card: One firecracker shines so much brighter…it leaves an imprint across the sky. And the night feels forever changed. Missing and honoring your child, this year and always. - Sea Glass Parenting

One firecracker shines so much brighter, it leaves an imprint across the sky (Customizable remembrance card)

Notes for the support team - Nobody is born knowing how to deal with grief. We are all just figuring it out along the way.

Nobody is born knowing how to deal with grief

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