Notes for the Bereaved -  You are under no obligation to keep anyone in your life for any reason. You are allowed to protect your own peace. - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

You are under no obligation to keep anyone in your life

When I was new in my grief, I both gained and lost people. Some people who were former acquaintances showed up and became good friends. Some people who I thought were good friends disappeared entirely.

The one thing I didn’t expect was that I would have to remove some people from my life because they weren’t capable of providing support without worsening my grief.

In my case, this included people who:

  • Minimized my loss
  • Told me other people had it worse
  • Used words like “at least”
  • Tried to guilt me into doing what they wanted for me
  • Told me I should be grateful for what I had and stop dwelling on what was lost. (I “lost” an entire human being!)

These things were hard for me. They were especially hard coming from people I thought were important to me. They created a set of circumstances in which it was hard for me to honor my child. They created a set of circumstances in which it was hard for me to breathe.

And then one day, I realized I didn’t have to keep them around any longer, and so I let them go.

And in so doing, I protected the memory of my child and the value of my grief.

Notes for the Bereaved:
You are under no obligation to keep anyone in your life for any reason.
You are allowed to protect your own peace.

Downloadable graphics for “Notes for the Bereaved: You are under no obligation to keep anyone in your life”:

Shareable graphics and memes about child loss & grief, pregnancy & parenting after loss, grieving without god, life & authenticity, and informed pregnancy.
Return to Graphics Blog Homepage.

Share this post via:

Sometimes I'm just— Tired. An exhaustion that goes beyond the surface; an exhaustion that is more than just physical. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Sometimes, I’m just—Tired

I too used to believe tragedy was the thing that happened to other people. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I too used to believe tragedy was the thing that happened to other people.

Thinking of those who are missing this Thanksgiving and all year round. - Sea Glass Parenting

Thinking of those who are missing this Thanksgiving (Customizable!)

Gentle wishes for bereaved Dads on Father's Day. May the day be kind. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Father’s Day

Sea Glass Parenting PAIL Awareness graphic: "This Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, Ask me about my child" in black text on a white background. A pink, blue, and green ribbon is centered in the image

This Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month, Ask me about my Child (Facebook profile image)

Pregnancy Notes Bookmark sitting on a white notebook next to flowers.

Pregnancy Reminder Notes (Printable Bookmark)

Baby loss greeting card: There is exactly one way to grieve—Your way. I am here to support you in all the ways you need. - Sea Glass Parenting

There is exactly one way to grieve—YOUR way (Customizable support card)

Losing Adrian taught me what some of the relationships in my life were really made of. In some cases, it was knowledge I didn't want to know. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Loss taught me what the relationships in my life are made of

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Explore more of Adrian's Elephant