Title: A Letter to My Fellow Bereaved | overlaid on an image of the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)
I Love You; A Letter to my Fellow Bereaved (Write Your Grief)

18 Feb 2018 – I Love You

A Letter to My Fellow Bereaved

I want to wish you happiness, but I don’t know if you want that. I didn’t want happiness after the death of my son. It felt disloyal.

I want to wish you answers about the death of your loved one, but I don’t know if they would be useful. The answers I received only brought up more questions.

I want to wish you the solitude you need to process your feelings; to deal with your grief, but I wonder if you want that? Was solitude only useful to me?

I want a lot of things for you, but I think most of them stem from things for which I felt a need.

So I think what I really wish is that you get what you need. That you have people in your life who understand, who ask the right questions, who do the right things. I hope that you receive the right answers, and if it’s useful, that you find a way to process your pain. I hope you make the progress that you’re able, and I hope no one holds you liable for what you just can’t do. This is what I hope for you.

I love you.

Related Posts:

Topics Page: Grief Positivity
Topics Page: People & Relationships
Resources Page: Resources for Bereaved Families
Resources Page: Resources Blog for Resources After Loss

Posts written in response to prompts from Megan Devine’s Refuge in Grief writing program.
Return to Write Your Grief Homepage

Share this post via:

Sunset over the California desert, with highway signs in the distance (Miranda Hernandez)

1 Feb 2018 – Photos

Close up of Miranda and Adrian in the hospital after Adrian's birth. Both of their eyes are closed, and Miranda is holding Adrian's hand

6 Feb 2018 – Regret

20 March 2021 – The Absence of Memory

Sunset over the Pacific 1 - Feature

26 Feb 2018 – Nuclear Bomb Part 2

Sleeping Giant Trail 1 - Feature

25 Feb 2018 – That Day

Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park, Big Sur, California (Miranda Hernandez)

22 May 2018 – I only write to ghosts. You must be one of them.

4 April 2021 – Memories Part 2

Seagulls on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

27 May 2018 – Fairytales

Sunlight through the trees, North Lake Tahoe, California (Miranda Hernandez)

25 Aug 2018 – Amy Anne

A seagull over the Pacific Ocean - Feature

9 Feb 2018 – No

27 March 2021 – Community

30 March 2021 – The 13th Guest

31 Jan 2018 – Choice

Miranda with Adrian's First Blanket - SQ

2 Feb 2018 – Elephant Onesies

22 March 2021 – Kindness…

Sunset on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

2 Jun 2018 – Peace

Matthiola flowers on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

26 Sep 2018 – Dear Grace

Sunset over Arizona - Feature

12 Feb 2018 – Hard Things

Miranda on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

28 May 2018 – Planet Miranda

Lakeside in Incline Village, North Lake Tahoe, Nevada (Miranda Hernandez)

13 Feb 2018 – The Condition of My Heart

Title: Grief is a Mother, Too | overlaid on an image of Miranda and Elephant on the coast at sunset (Synch Media)

2 Feb 2018 – Grief is a Mother, Too

30 March 2021 – Subsumed Grief

A Letter from the In-Between (Write Your Grief) | overlaid on image of Miranda staring off into the distance (Synch Media)

28 Jul 2018 – A Letter from the In-Between

Wide angle view of Miranda standing on a deserted beach in California at sunset. She is wearing a pink kimono fluttering in the breeze (Synch Media)

30 Jan 2018 – The Second Death

Miranda on the California coast (Synch Media)

21 Jun 2018 – The After

Miranda on the shore of Lake Tahoe, California (photo used with permission)

23 Aug 2018 – Windows

Chalk drawings on the sidewalk (Miranda Hernandez)

18 Mar 2018 – Someone Else’s Birthday

21 March 2021 – Does Grief Mourn?

Birds on the Pacific Coast in California - Feature

22 Feb 2018 – Fuck

Amy's collar (Miranda Hernandez)

12 Sep 2018 – Three Dishes

17 March 2021 – Who I Used to Be

Memories (Write Your Grief) | overlaid on image of Miranda on the California coast at sunset (Synch Media)

18 Feb 2018 – Memories

Limp hand holding a cell phone

26 Mar 2019 – The Worst Thing that Never Happened

Pinecrest Lake 1 - Feature

26 Feb 2018 – The Nuclear Bomb

Keālia Beach 1 - Feature

8 Feb 2018 – Prickly

24 March 2021 – Emulation

Lakeside in Incline Village 3

14 Feb 2018 – I love you. Please.

North Star Resort - Feature

20 Feb 2018 – Flight

Palm trees over the Pacific Ocean - Feature

7 Feb 2018 – Beauty

Miranda on the Pacific Coast 2 - Feature

10 Feb 2018 – This is How I Feel About Life

Tree branch in California - Feature

5 Feb 2018 – Akhilandeshvari

Julia Pfeiffer Burns Plant1 - Feature

7 Feb 2018 – Tests

26 March 2021 – Landscape

24 March 2021 – The One I Avoided Last Time

Incline Village, North Lake Tahoe - Feature

20 Feb 2018 – Time

Title: My Personal Experience with Grief | overlaid on an image of Miranda in Kaua'i (Luna Kai Photography)

29 Jan 2018 – Grief

The first blanket and baby toy Miranda purchased for Peanut (Miranda Hernandez)

29 Oct 2018 – Baby Things

31 March 2021 – Clarity

18 March 2021 – What I Wish You Knew

Keālia Beach 2 - Feature

20 Feb 2018 – Unspoken

A Letter to My Belly (Write Your Grief) | overlaid on image of Miranda making a heart on her belly (Synch Media)

24 Feb 2018 – A Letter to My Belly after the Stillbirth of my Firstborn Child

Hiking the Sleeping Giant Trail, Kapaa, Kaua'i, Hawai'i

3 Feb 2018 – The Kindest Thing

19 March 2021 – Where I Live Now

Explore more of Adrian's Elephant

Scroll to Top