Something I wish more people understood is that life after loss isn’t always about grief. Even when we do things to honor and remember our children, those things don’t come from grief alone, but from so many additional and powerful feelings.
And yet, one of the biggest misconceptions I’ve seen about life after loss is that everything we do in relation to the one who is gone is a form of “grieving”—
—Funerals
—Birthday parties
—Blog posts
—Memorial walls
—Charitable donations…
Even something as simple as mentioning the deceased person’s name.
It’s not always about “grief” though. Quite often, it is so much more—
—I had a funeral to honor my child.
—I had a birthday party because it was his birthday.
—I write blog posts, because writing is something I do; a part of me.
—I built a memorial wall, because I want to remember him.
—I make charitable donations because I like to think it’s something he would have wanted.
…And finally, I say his name, because he is my child. And I don’t have to be grieving to want to acknowledge his importance to me.
We may grieve for the dead, but we also love them;
Hold them in our hearts and minds;
Cherish them in our memories.
And while grief lives here, it doesn’t live alone.
Because life after loss is about so much more than grief.
~
Tomorrow is the first day of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. And I will be grieving, honoring, and loving all month long, and into the future.
Life after loss isn’t ALWAYS about grief
Miranda's Blog
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Miranda’s Blog has been featured in Scary Mommy, Pregnancy After Loss Support Magazine, Love What Matters, Up Journey, and Pursue Today. You can also find her on Quora and Medium.
