29 October 2017

Miranda's Blog

Miranda Hernandez
October 29, 2017

I’ve done a lot of things lately that the old me would have thought strange. Today, 29 October 2017, as I cleaned the last of my things from my house, I found the breast milk that expired before it made it to the bank. It didn’t feel right to throw it out, so I brought it here, dust unto dust. Weird may be my new normal.

Adrian's Elephant and expired milk, Government Canyon State Natural Area, Texas (Miranda Hernandez) — Adrian’s Elephant and expired milk, Government Canyon State Natural Area, Texas (Miranda Hernandez)

Related Posts:

Miranda’s Chronological Story: The First Days
Life as a Grieving Mother: Physical Body After Loss
Topics Page: Postpartum Body After Loss
Letters to Adrian: Sun, Jul 2, 2017 at 8:19 PM
Letters to Adrian: Fri, Jul 21, 2017 at 12:18 AM

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Miranda’s Blog has been featured in Scary Mommy, Pregnancy After Loss Support Magazine, Love What Matters, Up Journey, and Pursue Today. You can also find her on Quora and Medium.

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"It doesn't always have to be a NEW beginning." overlaid on the Adrian's Elephant necklace photo (Miranda Hernandez)

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Dec29

Growing, Evolving…And Also Staying the Same

Close up of a white flower with skinny pointed petals, taken in Victoria, British Columbia (Miranda Hernandez)

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Miranda holding Peanut and Adrian's elephant. Peanut's hand is wrapped around Adrian's elephant.

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Illness, Worry, & Reflections

Collage of pictures of pregnant woman and woman with child with title of Preeclampsia & Stillbirth on the top.

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Miranda holding Adrian's elephant on the coast in California.

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White flowers on a tree (Miranda Hernandez)

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Screenshot of Scary Mommy Article "Sharing Pictures Of My Stillborn Son Is Not 'Gross'" with a photo of Adrian and Miranda in the background.

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In 1988, President Ronald Reagan established 15 October as Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day | In honor of all children lost too soon, please consider lighting a candle from 7-8pm in your local time zone. This will create a "wave of light" that travels around the world. | Learn more about pregnancy & infant loss and how to support a bereaved family in your life: https://AdrianJamesHernandez.com

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Safe pregnancy booth providing resources on safe and informed pregnancy and stillbirth prevention

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Sep30

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Sep23

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Adrian's Elephant in his and Peanut's car seat

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Quarters on tile (Miranda Hernandez)

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Draft email (Miranda Hernandez)

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Bench on the shore of Lake Michigan, Chicago (Miranda Hernandez)

Jul08

The bluntness I wish I could share where it’s needed

Adrian and Elephant

Jun30

A Letter to My Son on His Second Birthday

Literature about tracking fetal movements (Miranda Hernandez)

Jun18

#MovementsMatter, Today and Always

Peanut's feet with Adrian's Elephant (Miranda Hernandez)

Jun17

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Fenced walkway at Hatley Castle, Victoria, British Columbia (Miranda Hernandez)

Jun15

Paperwork and Taxes

Peanut and Adrian's Elephant (Sarah Perry Photography)

Jun12

Pregnancy after Loss & Peanut’s Birth Story

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May12

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Apr29

When you’re going through tough times, remember that life is about so much more than feel-good messages you read online

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Apr23

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Apr11

Sometimes I DO want to give up, and you can’t “fix” that

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Apr10

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Apr10

Midnight; Memories of Loss & Grief

Trees along the shore of Lake Michigan, Chicago

Apr03

Pregnancy After Loss; A Parable

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Apr02

My experience as a pseudo-rainbow baby

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Mar28

“Strong”

Close up image of out-of-focus lamp. The aperture has been opened wide to over-expose the image (Miranda Hernandez)

Mar28

Understanding

Valerian flowers in Big Sur, California (Miranda Hernandez)

Mar21

Why I track fetal movement religiously with my second pregnancy

Orchid cactus flowers in the gardens at San Juan Bautista

Mar14

Dear Nature-Based Childbirth Educator

Fence on the shore of Lake Michigan, Chicago

Mar11

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View of the beach in Monterey Bay, California

Mar08

Pleasant Surprise

Close up image of a sundial in Hatley Park, Victoria, British Columbia. The sundial is weathered and made of gray stone. There are trees with pink blossoms in the background (Miranda Hernandez)

Mar06

Why Getting Pregnant Easily Isn’t a Gift

Pier at Mission Bay Park, San Diego

Mar06

Boomerang

Pier in Paihia, New Zealand

Mar01

A Letter to My Mental Health Coordinator

Waves in Monterey Bay, California

Feb19

The Slowest Kind of Panic

Sunrise in Kaua'i. Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)

Feb15

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Close up of a daisy (Miranda Hernandez)

Feb12

“If She Dies, I Die”; Grey’s Anatomy, Life, & Echoes of Grief in Pregnancy After Loss

Bridge on the Haruru Falls trail, Waitanga, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

Feb11

The Fork in the Road

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Feb10

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Mount Douglas Park Trail, Victoria, British Columbia

Feb10

This Timeline

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Echoes; Reminders & Memories in Pregnancy After Loss

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Feb05

It’s Not About the Sunscreen

Ruins of Cannery Row 1, Monterey, California

Feb04

Necessary Fear

Sunset over Koloa, Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)

Feb04

Death and Taxes – Why the Federal Government Doesn’t Consider My Stillborn Son to be a Human Being

Miranda's maternity photo (Two Little Starfish)

Feb01

Why I am celebrating every moment of this current pregnancy

California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

Jan27

Please stop telling me everything is going to be “fine”

Amy Anne sitting on Miranda's bed, next to Adrian's ultrasound photos, Miranda's pregnant belly in the background (Modern Lux Photography)

Jan26

The Story of Amy Anne

Easter Lily flower (Miranda Hernandez)

Jan20

Claddagh Ring

Adrian's Elephant and Peanut's Mermaid

Jan20

My Daughter is Not a Rainbow; My Son was Not a Storm

View of a small rocky island in the Bay of Islands, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

Jan19

Yoga on a Saturday

Rustic staircase carved into a trail in the Bay of Islands, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

Jan14

Hard Day

Rear view of a wooden bench looking out over Victoria, British Columbia at Sunset (Miranda Hernandez)

Jan13

Waiting Rooms

Adrian's Elephant and Peanut's Mermaid

Jan08

8 January 2019; Two Years of Memories and Looking to the Future

Pier in South Lake Tahoe, California

Jan05

Grief Isn’t a Disease; That Quote from “The Interpreter”

Miranda on the beach in California. Miranda is wearing a dark blue and white striped dress and is facing away from the camera. Adrian's Elephant's foot is just visible in Miranda's hands. (Synch Media)

Jan01

1 January 2019

Miranda with Adrian's Elephant during Adrian's Memorial on the California coast (@saltwaterandclay)

Jul22

22 July 2018; Life is Hard but I’m Trying

Close up of healed footprint tattoo on Miranda's right ribs. Footprints are centered in the frame, and Miranda is laying on green grass with a white shirt pushed up above the tattoo (photo taken by a friend)

Jul13

Friday the 13th

Daisies and Bluebonnets on Adrian's casket (Modern Lux Photography)

Jul11

11 July 2018; Memories of Adrian’s Funeral

Trail in Pinnacles National Park, California (Miranda Hernandez)

Jul08

Not Okay

Miranda and Adrian's Elephant on the California coast (Synch Media)

Jun30

Second Eulogy

Miranda and Elephant on the California coast

Jun30

A Letter to My Son on His First Birthday

Adrian's Elephant

Jun28

28 June; Memories from the day before my son was stillborn

Miranda and Elephant on the California coast

Jun22

22 June 2018, 9:01am; Memories about Adrian’s Due Date & Warning Signs That Were Missed

Miranda and Elephant on the beach in California

Jun21

21 June 2018, 4:58pm; Memories of my Last Prenatal Appointment before Adrian Died

Adrian's Elephant on Keālia Beach in Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)

Jun18

18 June 2018, 8:47 pm; Living in the Calendar after Loss

Driftwood log on the shore of Nukoli'i Beach park, Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)

Jun07

Not Fucking Fair

Adrian's Elephant in the Airport (Miranda Hernandez)

May28

Home

Sunset on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

May21

Sunrise

Miranda in Waimea Canyon State Park, Kaua'i, Hawai'i

May04

My Seventh Trimester Body

Miranda and Adrian's Elephant on the California coast

Apr25

Birth

Miranda and Adrian's Elephant at Esquimalt Lagoon, Victoria, British Columbia

Mar30

Equidistance

Annual flowers in Assiniboine Park, Winnipeg, Manitoba (Miranda Hernandez)

Mar29

A letter to my roommate, who puts up with far more than she deserves

Adrian Street sign in San Diego, California

Mar18

San Diego

View from cliffs on the California coast

Feb27

A Letter to the Woman Who Wants the “Perfect Natural Birth”

Dandelions over Te Ti Bay, Waitanga, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

Feb23

I AM a Mother, Even after my Child is Gone

Adrian's things in Miranda's new home

Jan22

Humor

Roses on rocks in Hatley Park, Victoria, British Columbia

Jan15

Everything Happens.

Bluebonnets on the California coast

Jan15

Nature Isn’t Perfect

Car tire on the road

Jan14

Second Hand

Burning candle at St Katharines’s Parmoor, Buckinghamshire, England (Miranda Hernandez)

Jan14

Desire

Sanddollars on Adrian's Elephant

Jan10

Sea Shells

Sign found on sidewalk

Jan10

Signs

Trail in Pinecrest, California

Jan04

Life

Close up of Adrian's Elephant on Miranda's lap. Miranda is wearing blue jeans and white shirt, and Elephant is sitting in her lap facing the camera (Miranda Hernandez)

Dec29

Pre-Pregnancy Jeans & the Struggle with Postpartum Weight Loss after Stillbirth

Dec23

I Drink a Lot of Tea

Sunset in Arizona

Dec02

I Miss My Phone

Rose on the ground at Hatley Park, Victoria, British Columbia

Dec02

I woke up out of a sound sleep with these words on my lips

Toy car hidden in the grass

Nov23

Favorite Holiday

Wildflowers and Adrian's Elephant

Nov11

On Sunlight and Strength

Bench in California (Miranda Hernandez)

Nov10

Things I Didn’t Get to Say in Response to Comments after the Death of my Child

Dahlia flowers at St Katharines’s Parmoor, Buckinghamshire, England (Miranda Hernandez)

Nov05

What Happens When a Type A Personality Grieves

Cherry blossoms in Victoria, British Columbia (Miranda Hernandez)

Nov01

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Miranda with Adrian's name sign from Landon's Legacy Retreat, Whiteshell Provincial Park, Manitoba

Sep30

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