Close up of Miranda and Adrian in the hospital after Adrian's birth. Both of their eyes are closed, and Miranda is holding Adrian's hand
Miranda and Adrian in the hospital (Mama Razzi Photography)

6 Feb 2018 – Regret

Your donor has brown eyes. So do I. I still wonder if yours would have been green or violet or newborn baby blue.

I still wonder if I should have waited just one more moment longer–surely you were only sleeping?

Related Posts:

Letters to Adrian: Mon, Jan 29, 2018, 5:09 AM

Downloadable graphics for “Regret”:

Posts written in response to prompts from Megan Devine’s Refuge in Grief writing program.
Return to Write Your Grief Homepage

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Seagulls on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

27 May 2018 – Fairytales

30 March 2021 – The 13th Guest

4 April 2021 – Memories Part 2

Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park, Big Sur, California (Miranda Hernandez)

22 May 2018 – I only write to ghosts. You must be one of them.

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12 Sep 2018 – Three Dishes

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26 Feb 2018 – The Nuclear Bomb

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18 Mar 2018 – Someone Else’s Birthday

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9 Feb 2018 – No

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Memories (Write Your Grief) | overlaid on image of Miranda on the California coast at sunset (Synch Media)

18 Feb 2018 – Memories

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20 Feb 2018 – Time

Title: My Personal Experience with Grief | overlaid on an image of Miranda in Kaua'i (Luna Kai Photography)

29 Jan 2018 – Grief

Title: A Letter to My Fellow Bereaved | overlaid on an image of the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

18 Feb 2018 – I Love You

Lakeside in Incline Village, North Lake Tahoe, Nevada (Miranda Hernandez)

13 Feb 2018 – The Condition of My Heart

31 March 2021 – Clarity

26 March 2021 – Landscape

17 March 2021 – Who I Used to Be

Miranda on the California coast (Synch Media)

21 Jun 2018 – The After

A Letter from the In-Between (Write Your Grief) | overlaid on image of Miranda staring off into the distance (Synch Media)

28 Jul 2018 – A Letter from the In-Between

20 March 2021 – The Absence of Memory

31 Jan 2018 – Choice

Keālia Beach 2 - Feature

20 Feb 2018 – Unspoken

North Star Resort - Feature

20 Feb 2018 – Flight

Miranda on the Pacific Coast 2 - Feature

10 Feb 2018 – This is How I Feel About Life

The first blanket and baby toy Miranda purchased for Peanut (Miranda Hernandez)

29 Oct 2018 – Baby Things

A Letter to My Belly (Write Your Grief) | overlaid on image of Miranda making a heart on her belly (Synch Media)

24 Feb 2018 – A Letter to My Belly after the Stillbirth of my Firstborn Child

Sleeping Giant Trail 1 - Feature

25 Feb 2018 – That Day

Matthiola flowers on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

26 Sep 2018 – Dear Grace

Wide angle view of Miranda standing on a deserted beach in California at sunset. She is wearing a pink kimono fluttering in the breeze (Synch Media)

30 Jan 2018 – The Second Death

Title: Grief is a Mother, Too | overlaid on an image of Miranda and Elephant on the coast at sunset (Synch Media)

2 Feb 2018 – Grief is a Mother, Too

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7 Feb 2018 – Tests

Sunlight through the trees, North Lake Tahoe, California (Miranda Hernandez)

25 Aug 2018 – Amy Anne

22 March 2021 – Kindness…

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5 Feb 2018 – Akhilandeshvari

Miranda with Adrian's First Blanket - SQ

2 Feb 2018 – Elephant Onesies

Sunset on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

2 Jun 2018 – Peace

Sunset over Arizona - Feature

12 Feb 2018 – Hard Things

Miranda on the shore of Lake Tahoe, California (photo used with permission)

23 Aug 2018 – Windows

Palm trees over the Pacific Ocean - Feature

7 Feb 2018 – Beauty

21 March 2021 – Does Grief Mourn?

24 March 2021 – Emulation

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22 Feb 2018 – Fuck

Miranda on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

28 May 2018 – Planet Miranda

Limp hand holding a cell phone

26 Mar 2019 – The Worst Thing that Never Happened

Keālia Beach 1 - Feature

8 Feb 2018 – Prickly

Hiking the Sleeping Giant Trail, Kapaa, Kaua'i, Hawai'i

3 Feb 2018 – The Kindest Thing

Sunset over the Pacific 1 - Feature

26 Feb 2018 – Nuclear Bomb Part 2

27 March 2021 – Community

Sunset over the California desert, with highway signs in the distance (Miranda Hernandez)

1 Feb 2018 – Photos

30 March 2021 – Subsumed Grief

19 March 2021 – Where I Live Now

Lakeside in Incline Village 3

14 Feb 2018 – I love you. Please.

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