When a parent loses a child during or shortly after birth, they also lose a lifetime of memories that should have been. One way charities and hospital bereavement coordinators can help is by providing memory boxes for parents to make memories with their child.
If you are interested in building comfort or memory boxes for your community, below is a list of suggested items:
- Stuffed animal or weighted stuffed animal. Several organizations offer weighted stuffed animals that help to fill a grieving parent’s empty arms. One example of a weighted stuffed animal is the Comfort Cub. You can also purchase a lovey or twin loveys to include, so that one can stay with the child and one can go home with the parents.
- Willow Tree or similar figurine. These figurines are beloved in the bereaved community for the simple and classic style that helps to honor the memory of a deceased child.
- Means of recording hand and footprints. Bereaved parents often appreciate having tactile memories like hand and footprints and hand and foot molds. Several organizations offer means of making this imprints. Empty Arms Bereavement Support also offers a tutorial. However, many hospitals have these kits already, so you may want to check before ordering them.
- Journal and journal prompts. Bereaved parents often find comfort in journaling their thoughts and feelings and/or their memories about their deceased child. Include a journal with a comforting cover and view our FREE journal prompts here.
- Subtly scented or unscented memorial candle. Candles are a common way to honor a deceased child’s memory. Opt for a subtle or unscented candle in case a parent cannot tolerate strong scents.
- Gift cards for restaurant delivery or grocery delivery service. Food delivery offers bereaved parents a chance to rest at home when leaving the house feels overwhelming.
- Body care items like lotion, body wash, or face masks. Sometimes caring for our bodies allows us to find a moment of peace in the midst of our grief. As with the candles, opt for lightly-scented or unscented items to appeal to the widest audience.
- Gift card for massage therapy. Massage is another means of caring for the body that can help to bring a period of peace and often release. If possible, look for a massage therapist that offers house calls, and/or one with a particularly peaceful workspace.
- Personal, handwritten letter. Offer your love and support through respectful and acknowledging words. Find some examples of supportive things to say here. You can also view our FREE downloadable sympathy cards here.
- Pamphlets or brochures for local baby loss and grief support groups. Researching resources for local support can be difficult in the early days of grief. Collecting and including brochures allows bereaved parents to make these connections more quickly and easily. If local peer mentors are available, include the name and number of a peer mentor as well.
- Pamphlets or brochures on the postpartum process, especially if specific to stillbirth or perinatal loss. Hospitals often offer informative brochures to postpartum parents, but most of these brochures include references to child care and living children. If you can include pamphlets specific to the postpartum experience after loss, bereaved parents will feel more supported. Star Legacy Foundation offers a number of useful and relevant brochures.
- “I’ve experienced pregnancy loss” appointment cards. One of the many hard parts about pregnancy loss is that the gestational parent is still going through the postpartum experience and they often need to seek medical care. Avoid the potential for painful conversations by including printed copies of this FREE downloadable information card that the bereaved parent can attach to future intake paperwork. Alternately, individual stickers are available for purchase here.
- Resources for funeral planning. Most bereaved parents don’t know where to start with planning a funeral for their infant child. We offer a detailed funeral planning guide here and a FREE downloadable pamphlet here. You can also include a list of local funeral homes and indicate if any of them offer free or discounted services for infants.
Is there anything you would add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.