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Our culture is weird. Grief is hard, and although death is universal, it’s also something we generally don’t talk about. When my son died, many of those closest to me said and did some really (well-intentioned but) stupid things. I don’t blame them; they were working with what they knew. I do want to make things better for those who follow.
This page is intended to be a living resource to help you better understand in order to support your loved one(s) after the loss of a child. Please read, ask questions, and then be there for the ones you love. The absolute worst thing you can do — is nothing.
Thank you for being here,
Miranda Hernandez, Adrian’s Mother
I also highly recommend reading books or blog posts about the experience of grief, as well as the following external resources:
This section contains some things to understand for and about the bereaved, and also some actionable suggestions you can do to help.
Before doing anything, though, my biggest recommendation is to obtain consent—despite the best of intentions, support people can sometimes cause unintentional pain when they do something the bereaved family would prefer done differently.
Please use special caution before doing things like ordering custom jewelry or moving or packing the baby’s things. These things are best accomplished without surprise.