Dandelions over Te Ti Bay, Waitanga, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

I AM a Mother, Even after my Child is Gone

Miranda's Blog

Miranda Hernandez
February 23, 2018

When I called the funeral home to ask for a certificate of cremation, they asked for my relation to the deceased. It was the first time I said the words, “I’m his mother.”

It still hits me, sometimes, even today.

I am a mother. I have a son. I am a mother.

Write Your Grief: The Nuclear Bomb

Downloadable graphics:

It still hits me, sometimes, even today. I am a mother. I have a son. I AM a mother. - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Categories: Miranda's Blog 2018
Tags: Bereaved motherhood, I AM a mother

PrevNextA Letter to the Woman Who Wants the “Perfect Natural Birth”

PreviousHumorNext

Featured in:

Miranda’s Blog has been featured in Scary Mommy, Pregnancy After Loss Support Magazine, Love What Matters, Up Journey, and Pursue Today. You can also find her on Quora and Medium.

Share this post via:

Rose on the ground at Hatley Park, Victoria, British Columbia

Dec02

I woke up out of a sound sleep with these words on my lips

Nov23

Favorite Holiday

Nov11

On Sunlight and Strength

Nov10

Things I Didn’t Get to Say in Response to Comments after the Death of my Child

Dahlia flowers at St Katharines’s Parmoor, Buckinghamshire, England (Miranda Hernandez)

Nov05

What Happens When a Type A Personality Grieves

Cherry blossoms in Victoria, British Columbia (Miranda Hernandez)

Nov01

Dear Pregnant Woman in My Office

Adrian's Elephant and expired milk, Government Canyon State Natural Area, Texas (Miranda Hernandez)

Oct29

29 October 2017

Miranda with Adrian's name sign from Landon's Legacy Retreat, Whiteshell Provincial Park, Manitoba

Sep30

30 September 2017; I Will Always Love His Name

Apr25

Hey, I also experienced loss… Can I exploit you now?

Image of a shadowed grim reaper holding a scythe and standing next to a bag labeled, "tax"

Mar30

Death & Taxes and Breaking Adages

Close-up view of white flowers with yellow centers on green stalks against a tree

Feb28

The Ones Behind the Scenes

Pink flowers on long green stems poking through a wrought iron fence

Feb29

When Life Sneaks In; Finding Joy Again in Life after Loss

Ray of sunshine above a creek flowing over a road in the wilderness

Apr17

I don’t find meaning in my son’s death. I find meaning in how I honor him after his death.

Out-of-focus close-up of a glass lamp (personal photo)

May30

Fuck June.

Apr27

This May is my 6th Mothers Day. Thank you for remembering and honoring BOTH my children this year.

Apr17

Sometimes Bad Things Happen

Checklist* for a natural birth: Low Risk, Doula, Midwives, Birth Plan, Bradley Method, Declined induction, Listed to your body, Trust baby's timing. *Success not guaranteed

Feb25

I did everything ‘right’ for a natural birth…And my healthy child still died

Jan30

So, it’s been a (long) minute…Miscellaneous News & Updates from Miranda

Closeup of Miranda holding Adrian's Elephant. Miranda is wearing a pink dress and tan floppy hat (personal photo)

Jan29

There is nothing wrong with ‘Dwelling’

Scripts for the Support Team: I am hearing and honoring all of your feelings.

Dec22

10 Things to Say to a Loved One after the Death of their Child

Dec17

Social media may have a bad reputation, but it’s helped me in my grief

Dec10

You’re an absence I carry

White flowers with yellow centers in tall green stalks (Miranda Hernandez)

Sep30

Life after loss isn’t ALWAYS about grief

Footbridge on North Lake Tahoe (Miranda Hernandez)

Sep12

Grief made me suicidal; These are 7 things I learned (Suicide Awareness & Prevention Month 2021)

Miranda's maternity photo. Miranda is wearing a pale pink form-fitting lace dress. She is sitting on an outdoor chair in a grassy backyard and is looking down at her belly while holding a flower (Modern Lux Photography)

Jun25

When I was overdue, this is what I wish I knew

Jun22

My Review of Lone Star Midwives; San Antonio, Texas

Jun17

A letter to the midwife who told me we were “fine”—

Mother holding a molly bear in a bedroom. The mother is wearing a loose white patterned kimono is snuggling into the bear with eyes closed. The bear is tan, with lighter cream markings. (Liz Morales Photography)

Jun13

Here’s to the ‘Tog who Understands—

Graphic image of a green envelope holding a letter and a graphic photo of a mother holding a toddler and a stuffed elephant. The mother is wearing a long sleeved white shirt and has black hair. The toddler is wearing a light pink shirt and has medium brown hair. The background of the image is a blue gradient on top and a light blue box on the bottom. Graphic photo created by Megan Johnson; full image created in Canva

Jun03

Our family doesn’t have a “Dad”, but we are so thankful for our Timothy

Graphic art of pregnant woman standing in front of an ultrasound machine. The woman has tan skin and is wearing a green dress. She is looking down at her belly. The ultrasound machine show an image of a pink elephant on the screen (djvstock2, smalllike, & clker-free-vector-images acquired from Canva)

May30

There’s an Elephant in the Exam Room

Sharing about my deceased child doesn’t mean that I’m stuck or broken or even that I am actively hurting. It simply means I am a parent. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

May20

STILL a Mama Bear, and STILL Pissed

Close up image of a stethoscope and a blood pressure machine (Rallef, Getty Images)

May13

It’s so much more than high blood pressure; What I wish I’d known about Preeclampsia before it killed my child

May09

Motherhood

Stylized image of a mother lying in bed, holding her stillborn child's hand (Megan Johnson)

May02

International Bereaved Mothers’ Day 2021

Apr29

Stuck in the middle—how bereaved parents get hurt by the abortion conversation

A light gray stuffed elephant nestled between sage-green military boots

Mar12

Identities

Miranda's black chiffon top and striped black and white skirt on the day of Adrian's funeral (Modern Lux Photographt)

Feb28

Flashes of Memory; Dressing for the Funeral

How do you get past losing a baby? You don't.

Feb26

How Do You Get Past Losing a Baby? (Quora)

I loved you from the moment I saw that second blue line.

Feb22

Imperfect Memories; the Second Blue Line

Four-year-old girl sitting outside with her stuffed animal tiger. Image is close-up mainly of tiger in girl's arms (FamilyFotographer, Getty Images)

Feb05

No, Daniel Tiger, Grown-Ups DON’T Always Come Back

Uprooted tree roots against a backdrop of cloud

Jan28

On the Importance of Photographing Death

Miranda wearing her bracelets with an elephant charm.

Jan20

Life Thoughts from Subscription Boxes

Dec31

It Doesn’t Always Have to be a NEW Beginning

Dried wild plants in North Lake Tahoe, California (Miranda Hernandez)

Dec29

Growing, Evolving…And Also Staying the Same

Close up of a white flower with skinny pointed petals, taken in Victoria, British Columbia (Miranda Hernandez)

Dec06

The Words We Use Matter

Miranda holding Peanut and Adrian's elephant. Peanut's hand is wrapped around Adrian's elephant.

Nov12

Illness, Worry, & Reflections

Collage of pictures of pregnant woman and woman with child with title of Preeclampsia & Stillbirth on the top.

Nov03

The Ways we Discuss when we Disagree

Miranda holding Adrian's elephant on the coast in California.

Oct31

Go, Go, Pause

Adrian's photo and candle in the Wave of Light, 2019

Oct15

Wave of Light 2020

View from the top of Waimea Canyon, mountains covered in fog, Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Luna Kai Photography)

Oct04

What Would You Rather Not Know? (Quora)

Sep30

Introducing the Sea Glass Parenting Community

Rear view of Miranda facing the ocean. Miranda is wearing a loose pink shirt and her dark hair is down on her back. (Synch Media)

Sep30

3 Years, 3 Months

White flowers on a tree (Miranda Hernandez)

Sep28

The Phone Call you Never Expect to Receive; Supporting a Loved One After the Loss of a Child

Screenshot of Scary Mommy Article "Sharing Pictures Of My Stillborn Son Is Not 'Gross'" with a photo of Adrian and Miranda in the background.

Sep26

The First Real Byline—Published in Scary Mommy

Sharing about my deceased child doesn't mean that I'm stuck or broken or even that I am hurting. It simply means I am a parent.

Sep23

These are MY Words—Plagiarism in the Child Loss Community

In 1988, President Ronald Reagan established 15 October as Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day | In honor of all children lost too soon, please consider lighting a candle from 7-8pm in your local time zone. This will create a "wave of light" that travels around the world. | Learn more about pregnancy & infant loss and how to support a bereaved family in your life: https://AdrianJamesHernandez.com

Sep22

Getting ready for Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month

Jul26

The Worst Part

Miranda's maternity photo with Peanut. Adrian's footprints are visible in the tattoo on Miranda's ribs (Two Little Starfish)

Jul21

10 Things I Learned About Pregnancy After Loss (Pursue Today)

Palm tree over the ocean in late afternoon in Kaua'i, Hawai'i (MIranda Hernandez)

Jul19

The grief of not getting what you didn’t want anyway

Woman using a fetal doppler at home (Trendsetter images)

Jul10

Why I Support Banning Home Fetal Dopplers (Quora)

Orange wildflowers at Lake Tahoe (Miranda Hernandez)

Jun29

It’s Always 29 June; Integration in Grief

Miranda and Adrian's Elephant on the California coast (Synch Media)

Jun01

1 June 2020

Blue dawnflowers at St Katharines’s Parmoor, Buckinghamshire, England (Miranda Hernandez)

May23

Why I Didn’t “Just Adopt”

Miranda with Adrian's elephant and Peanut's mermaid in the hospital (Sarah Perry Photography)

May19

The Whirlwind of Pregnancy and Delivery After Loss

Mother's Day message from AdrianJamesHernandez.com

May10

Mother’s Day 2020

May07

Cranky

Dark red flowers in shadow in front of a bright window (Miranda Hernandez)

Apr18

The Problem With Positivity

Wildflowers in South Lake Tahoe, California (Miranda Hernandez)

Apr17

There But for Grace

Apr05

Perspective

Heart in the sand, Esquimalt Lagoon, Victoria, British Columbia (Miranda Hernandez)

Apr02

Daydreams

Close-up image of spiky pink flower. Flower ihas both dark pink and light pink petals, and a peach center. The background is blurred. Taken in Assiniboine Park, Winnipeg, Manitoba (Miranda Hernandez)

Mar20

Why I Choose to Share Photos of My Dead Child on Social Media

Still water on the Haruru Falls trail, Waitanga, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

Feb18

What is the Worst Sound in the World? (Quora)

Bench on the shore of South Lake Tahoe, California (Miranda Hernandez)

Feb08

Re-Evaluation & New Priorities after the Death of a Child

Cliff overlooking the ocean on a clear day (Miranda Hernandez)

Dec20

Survivor’s Bias

Sunset over the Bay of Islands, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

Dec17

Tone

View from a butterfly cut-out, Assiniboine Park, Winnipeg, Manitoba (Miranda Hernandez)

Dec12

Adrian’s Elephant Official Comment Policy, aka Things Not to Say To or About a Bereaved Parent

Waves on Lake Tahoe, California (Miranda Hernandez)

Dec07

I Fail at Grief Olympics

Safe pregnancy booth providing resources on safe and informed pregnancy and stillbirth prevention

Nov24

Preventing Stillbirth Starts With Outreach

Wildflowers over Te Ti Bay (Miranda Hernandez)

Nov20

“It’s Not Your Fault”

Pylons under a pier in California (Miranda Hernandez)

Oct07

Why you shouldn’t ask a bereaved parent if they plan to “try again”

Found art of the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

Oct05

From one mother to another: A letter to the pregnant mother from one who is bereaved

Famous rock formation in the Bay of Islands, New Zealand. The feature is called Piercy Island, and is known for the "Hole in the Rock," but it looks like an elephant to me (Miranda Hernandez)

Oct04

Elephants and Well-Meaning Words – “It’s not your fault”

Sunset over Lake Tahoe (Miranda Hernandez)

Sep30

Stillbirth and Statistics: What Does it Mean to be “Rare”?

Tree branches over the Kawai'i coast (Miranda Hernandez)

Sep26

Imagination

Sep23

Sea Lions

Sep16

More Than One Spectrum

Tree limbs over a pond (Miranda Hernandez)

Sep09

Awareness Isn’t Enough – Preventing Suicide Starts with Understanding

Adrian's Elephant in his and Peanut's car seat

Sep06

Baggage

Miranda and Adrian's Elephant on the California coast

Aug17

17 August 2019

Flowers on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

Aug06

The Things We Don’t Want to be True; Separating Victims of Tragedy from Ourselves

Empty storage container (Miranda Hernandez)

Aug03

Sleepless

Aug02

Charlie’s Accident

Jul12

Two Birthdays

Bench on the shore of Lake Michigan, Chicago (Miranda Hernandez)

Jul08

The bluntness I wish I could share where it’s needed

Jun30

A Letter to My Son on His Second Birthday

Literature about tracking fetal movements (Miranda Hernandez)

Jun18

#MovementsMatter, Today and Always

Peanut's feet with Adrian's Elephant (Miranda Hernandez)

Jun17

First

Fenced walkway at Hatley Castle, Victoria, British Columbia (Miranda Hernandez)

Jun15

Paperwork and Taxes

Peanut and Adrian's Elephant (Sarah Perry Photography)

Jun12

Pregnancy after Loss & Peanut’s Birth Story

Miranda with Adrian's Elephant and Peanut's Mermaid (4th Trimester Bodies Project)

May12

Third Mother’s Day

Daisies in San Juan Capistrano, California (Miranda Hernandez)

May08

From one mother to another; a letter to the recently bereaved

Ariel view of the Bay of Islands, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

Apr29

When you’re going through tough times, remember that life is about so much more than feel-good messages you read online

Mountains of Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)

Apr23

Warning Signs Prior to Adrian’s Stillbirth

Fog on the ocean in Big Sur, California (Miranda Hernandez)

Apr11

Sometimes I DO want to give up, and you can’t “fix” that

A duck and its reflection, Assiniboine Park, Manitoba (Miranda Hernandez)

Apr10

My experience with the 4th Trimester Bodies Project

Full moon on a dark night, with clouds in front of the moon (Miranda Hernandez)

Apr10

Midnight; Memories of Loss & Grief

Trees along the shore of Lake Michigan, Chicago

Apr03

Pregnancy After Loss; A Parable

Flowers at St Katharines's Parmoor, Buckinghamshire, England (Miranda Hernandez)

Apr02

My experience as a pseudo-rainbow baby

Mar28

“Strong”

Close up image of out-of-focus lamp. The aperture has been opened wide to over-expose the image (Miranda Hernandez)

Mar28

Understanding

Valerian flowers in Big Sur, California (Miranda Hernandez)

Mar21

Why I track fetal movement religiously with my second pregnancy

Orchid cactus flowers in the gardens at San Juan Bautista

Mar14

Dear Nature-Based Childbirth Educator

Fence on the shore of Lake Michigan, Chicago

Mar11

Perspective of a Non-Believer Following the Death of a Child (Quora)

View of the beach in Monterey Bay, California

Mar08

Pleasant Surprise

Close up image of a sundial in Hatley Park, Victoria, British Columbia. The sundial is weathered and made of gray stone. There are trees with pink blossoms in the background (Miranda Hernandez)

Mar06

Why Getting Pregnant Easily Isn’t a Gift

Mar06

Boomerang

Mar01

A Letter to My Mental Health Coordinator

Feb19

The Slowest Kind of Panic

Sunrise in Kaua'i. Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)

Feb15

Is Stillbirth really “Rare”? What does “Rare” even Mean?

Feb12

“If She Dies, I Die”; Grey’s Anatomy, Life, & Echoes of Grief in Pregnancy After Loss

Bridge on the Haruru Falls trail, Waitanga, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

Feb11

The Fork in the Road

Feb10

Grieving My Child Without God

Mount Douglas Park Trail, Victoria, British Columbia

Feb10

This Timeline

Close-up black and white image of Miranda's pregnant belly in a field of wildflowers. The view is focused on the right side of Miranda's belly, and Adrian's footprint tattoo is visible at the top left of the photo. (Two Little Starfish)

Feb05

Echoes; Reminders & Memories in Pregnancy After Loss

Virginsbower flowers in Hatley Park, Victoria, British Columbia. The flowers take up the bottom left of the image, and there are out-of-focus trees in the background (Miranda Hernandez)

Feb05

It’s Not About the Sunscreen

Ruins of Cannery Row 1, Monterey, California

Feb04

Necessary Fear

Sunset over Koloa, Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)

Feb04

Death and Taxes – Why the Federal Government Doesn’t Consider My Stillborn Son to be a Human Being

Miranda's maternity photo (Two Little Starfish)

Feb01

Why I am celebrating every moment of this current pregnancy

Jan27

Please stop telling me everything is going to be “fine”

Amy Anne sitting on Miranda's bed, next to Adrian's ultrasound photos, Miranda's pregnant belly in the background (Modern Lux Photography)

Jan26

The Story of Amy Anne

Jan20

Claddagh Ring

Jan20

My Daughter is Not a Rainbow; My Son was Not a Storm

View of a small rocky island in the Bay of Islands, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

Jan19

Yoga on a Saturday

Rustic staircase carved into a trail in the Bay of Islands, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

Jan14

Hard Day

Rear view of a wooden bench looking out over Victoria, British Columbia at Sunset (Miranda Hernandez)

Jan13

Waiting Rooms

Jan08

8 January 2019; Two Years of Memories and Looking to the Future

Jan05

Grief Isn’t a Disease; That Quote from “The Interpreter”

Miranda on the beach in California. Miranda is wearing a dark blue and white striped dress and is facing away from the camera. Adrian's Elephant's foot is just visible in Miranda's hands. (Synch Media)

Jan01

1 January 2019

Miranda with Adrian's Elephant during Adrian's Memorial on the California coast (@saltwaterandclay)

Jul22

22 July 2018; Life is Hard but I’m Trying

Close up of healed footprint tattoo on Miranda's right ribs. Footprints are centered in the frame, and Miranda is laying on green grass with a white shirt pushed up above the tattoo (photo taken by a friend)

Jul13

Friday the 13th

Daisies and Bluebonnets on Adrian's casket (Modern Lux Photography)

Jul11

11 July 2018; Memories of Adrian’s Funeral

Trail in Pinnacles National Park, California (Miranda Hernandez)

Jul08

Not Okay

Jun30

Second Eulogy

Miranda and Elephant on the California coast

Jun30

A Letter to My Son on His First Birthday

Jun28

28 June; Memories from the day before my son was stillborn

Jun22

22 June 2018, 9:01am; Memories about Adrian’s Due Date & Warning Signs That Were Missed

Miranda and Elephant on the beach in California

Jun21

21 June 2018, 4:58pm; Memories of my Last Prenatal Appointment before Adrian Died

Adrian's Elephant on Keālia Beach in Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)

Jun18

18 June 2018, 8:47 pm; Living in the Calendar after Loss

Driftwood log on the shore of Nukoli'i Beach park, Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)

Jun07

Not Fucking Fair

Adrian's Elephant in the Airport (Miranda Hernandez)

May28

Home

Sunset on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

May21

Sunrise

Miranda in Waimea Canyon State Park, Kaua'i, Hawai'i

May04

My Seventh Trimester Body

Apr25

Birth

Miranda and Adrian's Elephant at Esquimalt Lagoon, Victoria, British Columbia

Mar30

Equidistance

Annual flowers in Assiniboine Park, Winnipeg, Manitoba (Miranda Hernandez)

Mar29

A letter to my roommate, who puts up with far more than she deserves

Mar18

San Diego

View from cliffs on the California coast

Feb27

A Letter to the Woman Who Wants the “Perfect Natural Birth”

Jan22

Humor

Roses on rocks in Hatley Park, Victoria, British Columbia

Jan15

Everything Happens.

Jan15

Nature Isn’t Perfect

Jan14

Second Hand

Burning candle at St Katharines’s Parmoor, Buckinghamshire, England (Miranda Hernandez)

Jan14

Desire

Jan10

Sea Shells

Jan10

Signs

Jan04

Life

Close up of Adrian's Elephant on Miranda's lap. Miranda is wearing blue jeans and white shirt, and Elephant is sitting in her lap facing the camera (Miranda Hernandez)

Dec29

Pre-Pregnancy Jeans & the Struggle with Postpartum Weight Loss after Stillbirth

Dec23

I Drink a Lot of Tea

Dec02

I Miss My Phone

Dec02

I woke up out of a sound sleep with these words on my lips

Nov23

Favorite Holiday

Nov11

On Sunlight and Strength

Nov10

Things I Didn’t Get to Say in Response to Comments after the Death of my Child

Nov05

What Happens When a Type A Personality Grieves

Nov01

Dear Pregnant Woman in My Office

Oct29

29 October 2017

Sep30

30 September 2017; I Will Always Love His Name

Apr25

Hey, I also experienced loss… Can I exploit you now?

Mar30

Death & Taxes and Breaking Adages

Feb28

The Ones Behind the Scenes

Feb29

When Life Sneaks In; Finding Joy Again in Life after Loss

Apr17

I don’t find meaning in my son’s death. I find meaning in how I honor him after his death.

May30

Fuck June.

Apr27

This May is my 6th Mothers Day. Thank you for remembering and honoring BOTH my children this year.

Apr17

Sometimes Bad Things Happen

Feb25

I did everything ‘right’ for a natural birth…And my healthy child still died

Jan30

So, it’s been a (long) minute…Miscellaneous News & Updates from Miranda

Jan29

There is nothing wrong with ‘Dwelling’

Dec22

10 Things to Say to a Loved One after the Death of their Child

Dec17

Social media may have a bad reputation, but it’s helped me in my grief

Dec10

You’re an absence I carry

Sep30

Life after loss isn’t ALWAYS about grief

Sep12

Grief made me suicidal; These are 7 things I learned (Suicide Awareness & Prevention Month 2021)

Jun25

When I was overdue, this is what I wish I knew

Jun22

My Review of Lone Star Midwives; San Antonio, Texas

Jun17

A letter to the midwife who told me we were “fine”—

Jun13

Here’s to the ‘Tog who Understands—

Jun03

Our family doesn’t have a “Dad”, but we are so thankful for our Timothy

May30

There’s an Elephant in the Exam Room

May20

STILL a Mama Bear, and STILL Pissed

May13

It’s so much more than high blood pressure; What I wish I’d known about Preeclampsia before it killed my child

May09

Motherhood

May02

International Bereaved Mothers’ Day 2021

Apr29

Stuck in the middle—how bereaved parents get hurt by the abortion conversation

Mar12

Identities

Feb28

Flashes of Memory; Dressing for the Funeral

Feb26

How Do You Get Past Losing a Baby? (Quora)

Feb22

Imperfect Memories; the Second Blue Line

Feb05

No, Daniel Tiger, Grown-Ups DON’T Always Come Back

Jan28

On the Importance of Photographing Death

Jan20

Life Thoughts from Subscription Boxes

Dec31

It Doesn’t Always Have to be a NEW Beginning

Dec29

Growing, Evolving…And Also Staying the Same

Dec06

The Words We Use Matter

Nov12

Illness, Worry, & Reflections

Nov03

The Ways we Discuss when we Disagree

Oct31

Go, Go, Pause

Oct15

Wave of Light 2020

Oct04

What Would You Rather Not Know? (Quora)

Sep30

Introducing the Sea Glass Parenting Community

Sep30

3 Years, 3 Months

Sep28

The Phone Call you Never Expect to Receive; Supporting a Loved One After the Loss of a Child

Sep26

The First Real Byline—Published in Scary Mommy

Sep23

These are MY Words—Plagiarism in the Child Loss Community

Sep22

Getting ready for Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month

Jul26

The Worst Part

Jul21

10 Things I Learned About Pregnancy After Loss (Pursue Today)

Jul19

The grief of not getting what you didn’t want anyway

Jul10

Why I Support Banning Home Fetal Dopplers (Quora)

Jun29

It’s Always 29 June; Integration in Grief

Jun01

1 June 2020

May23

Why I Didn’t “Just Adopt”

May19

The Whirlwind of Pregnancy and Delivery After Loss

May10

Mother’s Day 2020

May07

Cranky

Apr18

The Problem With Positivity

Apr17

There But for Grace

Apr05

Perspective

Apr02

Daydreams

Mar20

Why I Choose to Share Photos of My Dead Child on Social Media

Feb18

What is the Worst Sound in the World? (Quora)

Feb08

Re-Evaluation & New Priorities after the Death of a Child

Dec20

Survivor’s Bias

Dec17

Tone

Dec12

Adrian’s Elephant Official Comment Policy, aka Things Not to Say To or About a Bereaved Parent

Dec07

I Fail at Grief Olympics

Nov24

Preventing Stillbirth Starts With Outreach

Nov20

“It’s Not Your Fault”

Oct07

Why you shouldn’t ask a bereaved parent if they plan to “try again”

Oct05

From one mother to another: A letter to the pregnant mother from one who is bereaved

Oct04

Elephants and Well-Meaning Words – “It’s not your fault”

Sep30

Stillbirth and Statistics: What Does it Mean to be “Rare”?

Sep26

Imagination

Sep23

Sea Lions

Sep16

More Than One Spectrum

Sep09

Awareness Isn’t Enough – Preventing Suicide Starts with Understanding

Sep06

Baggage

Aug17

17 August 2019

Aug06

The Things We Don’t Want to be True; Separating Victims of Tragedy from Ourselves

Aug03

Sleepless

Aug02

Charlie’s Accident

Jul12

Two Birthdays

Jul08

The bluntness I wish I could share where it’s needed

Jun30

A Letter to My Son on His Second Birthday

Jun18

#MovementsMatter, Today and Always

Jun17

First

Jun15

Paperwork and Taxes

Jun12

Pregnancy after Loss & Peanut’s Birth Story

May12

Third Mother’s Day

May08

From one mother to another; a letter to the recently bereaved

Apr29

When you’re going through tough times, remember that life is about so much more than feel-good messages you read online

Apr23

Warning Signs Prior to Adrian’s Stillbirth

Apr11

Sometimes I DO want to give up, and you can’t “fix” that

Apr10

My experience with the 4th Trimester Bodies Project

Apr10

Midnight; Memories of Loss & Grief

Apr03

Pregnancy After Loss; A Parable

Apr02

My experience as a pseudo-rainbow baby

Mar28

“Strong”

Mar28

Understanding

Mar21

Why I track fetal movement religiously with my second pregnancy

Mar14

Dear Nature-Based Childbirth Educator

Mar11

Perspective of a Non-Believer Following the Death of a Child (Quora)

Mar08

Pleasant Surprise

Mar06

Why Getting Pregnant Easily Isn’t a Gift

Mar06

Boomerang

Mar01

A Letter to My Mental Health Coordinator

Feb19

The Slowest Kind of Panic

Feb15

Is Stillbirth really “Rare”? What does “Rare” even Mean?

Feb12

“If She Dies, I Die”; Grey’s Anatomy, Life, & Echoes of Grief in Pregnancy After Loss

Feb11

The Fork in the Road

Feb10

Grieving My Child Without God

Feb10

This Timeline

Feb05

Echoes; Reminders & Memories in Pregnancy After Loss

Feb05

It’s Not About the Sunscreen

Feb04

Necessary Fear

Feb04

Death and Taxes – Why the Federal Government Doesn’t Consider My Stillborn Son to be a Human Being

Feb01

Why I am celebrating every moment of this current pregnancy

Jan27

Please stop telling me everything is going to be “fine”

Jan26

The Story of Amy Anne

Jan20

Claddagh Ring

Jan20

My Daughter is Not a Rainbow; My Son was Not a Storm

Jan19

Yoga on a Saturday

Jan14

Hard Day

Jan13

Waiting Rooms

Jan08

8 January 2019; Two Years of Memories and Looking to the Future

Jan05

Grief Isn’t a Disease; That Quote from “The Interpreter”

Jan01

1 January 2019

Jul22

22 July 2018; Life is Hard but I’m Trying

Jul13

Friday the 13th

Jul11

11 July 2018; Memories of Adrian’s Funeral

Jul08

Not Okay

Jun30

Second Eulogy

Jun30

A Letter to My Son on His First Birthday

Jun28

28 June; Memories from the day before my son was stillborn

Jun22

22 June 2018, 9:01am; Memories about Adrian’s Due Date & Warning Signs That Were Missed

Jun21

21 June 2018, 4:58pm; Memories of my Last Prenatal Appointment before Adrian Died

Jun18

18 June 2018, 8:47 pm; Living in the Calendar after Loss

Jun07

Not Fucking Fair

May28

Home

May21

Sunrise

May04

My Seventh Trimester Body

Apr25

Birth

Mar30

Equidistance

Mar29

A letter to my roommate, who puts up with far more than she deserves

Mar18

San Diego

Feb27

A Letter to the Woman Who Wants the “Perfect Natural Birth”

Jan22

Humor

Jan15

Everything Happens.

Jan15

Nature Isn’t Perfect

Jan14

Second Hand

Jan14

Desire

Jan10

Sea Shells

Jan10

Signs

Jan04

Life

Dec29

Pre-Pregnancy Jeans & the Struggle with Postpartum Weight Loss after Stillbirth

Dec23

I Drink a Lot of Tea

Dec02

I Miss My Phone

Dec02

I woke up out of a sound sleep with these words on my lips

Nov23

Favorite Holiday

Nov11

On Sunlight and Strength

Nov10

Things I Didn’t Get to Say in Response to Comments after the Death of my Child

Nov05

What Happens When a Type A Personality Grieves

Nov01

Dear Pregnant Woman in My Office

Oct29

29 October 2017

Sep30

30 September 2017; I Will Always Love His Name

Explore more of Adrian's Elephant

Miranda’s Blog

Miranda's Blog 2025
Miranda's Blog 2024
- When Life Sneaks In; Finding Joy Again in Life after Loss
Miranda's Blog 2023
- I don’t find meaning in my son’s death. I find meaning in how I honor him after his death.
Miranda's Blog 2022
Miranda's Blog 2021
Miranda's Blog 2020
Miranda's Blog 2019
Miranda's Blog 2018
Miranda's Blog 2017

Sea Glass Parenting

Sea Glass Parenting Home
Sea Glass Writing Course
Sea Glass Parenting Graphics
Sea Glass Parenting Community
Sea Glass Parenting on Instagram

Resources Pages

Resources for Bereaved Families
Resources for Friends & Family
Resources for Prenatal Providers

Resources Blog

Resources Blog

Letters to Adrian

Before Letters
After Letters 2017
After Letters 2018
After Letters 2019
After Letters 2020 and Later

Write Your Grief

WYG Round 1
WYG 2018/2019
WYG Round 1.5

Downloadable Graphics

Adrian's Chronological Story
Adrian's Legacy

Miranda's Chronological Story
Life as a Grieving Mother

Before Letters
After Letters 2017
After Letters 2018
After Letters 2019
After Letters 2020 and Later

WYG Round 1
WYG 2018/2019
WYG Round 1.5

Bookmarks
Free 5×7 Baby Loss Awareness and Remembrance printables
Brochures
Invitations
Free Customizable Baby Loss Sympathy & Remembrance Cards

Miranda's Blog 2017
Miranda's Blog 2018
Miranda's Blog 2019
Miranda's Blog 2020
Miranda's Blog 2021
Miranda's Blog 2022
Miranda's Blog 2023
Miranda's Blog 2024
Miranda's Blog 2025

Anger is a Huge Part of Grief
Physical Activity is Grounding After Loss
Physicality of Tears
Death Positivity
Financial Matters Associated with Loss
Grief Olympics or Comparing Grief
- Grief is not a Competition
- I know how you feel
Grief Positivity
Grieving Without God
Guilt Fault Blame
- If a bereaved parent feel guilt or blame about their loss…
- It wasn’t your fault
Hope After Loss
Informed Pregnancy
Mental Health After Loss
My Labor & Birth of Adrian
Natural Birth
No Prompt
No Rainbows No Storms
- A Living child doesn’t negate the existence of one who is deceased
- If my loss hadn’t happened, would my subsequent child still be here?
Parenting After Loss
People & Relationships
Postpartum Body After Loss
My Pregnancy with Adrian
Pregnancy After Loss
- If my loss hadn’t happened, would my subsequent child still be here?
- Mirror Reality in Pregnancy After Loss
Reflection
- Death isn’t something you ever “get over”
- I’m upset with movies and TV shows for making me think grief was just a phase
Stillbirth Prevention Information
Thoughts about Suicide
Support After Loss
Work and Professional Life After Loss

About

Site Map
Privacy Policy
Terms & Conditions
AJHRocks.com
Comment Policy
Guestbook
Contact

Search for:

Category Menu

"babies run out of room" "better" is a relative term "meant to be" "strange" things bereaved parents do Adrian's conception Asking "How are you?" of someone who is grieving Aunt Jessica Awkwardness surrounding loss and grief Baby Grace Body image and body dysmorphia after pregnancy loss body work: acupuncture & massage dangers of home dopplers Depictions of loss and grief in the media Donor-conceived family dreaming about Adrian or Peanut echoes of the past Everyone is struggling with something Feeling empty or numb after loss Graphics for stillbirth awareness and advocacy Halloween after the death of a child I don't want to think about the future because it's a future without my son I feel broken after the death of my child importance of testing urine in pregnancy informed decision making in pregnancy it's going to be okay I think I want people to go away but I also need community I wonder so many things about you Landon's Legacy Retreat Life after loss isnt always about grief Loss parent AND pro-choice Maternity photos from my pregnancy with Adrian mementos & memorabilia of my child Memorial poetry new and old grief Permanence of death physical activity is grounding after loss physicality of grief Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) thankful and grieving at the same time Thanksgiving after the death of a child the bereaved do not need to be "fixed" thoughts about deities or a higher power Tragedy isn't just the thing that happens to OTHER people Uncle Tyler Writing as a means of reflection and processing in grief

I AM a Mother, Even after my Child is Gone

Miranda's Blog

Related Posts:

Downloadable graphics:

Share this post via: