Miranda with Adrian's Elephant during Adrian's Memorial on the California coast (@saltwaterandclay)

22 July 2018; Life is Hard but I’m Trying

Miranda's Blog

Miranda Hernandez
July 22, 2018

Been going through a dark patch lately. I haven’t had the energy to write, or be as active on here as I’d like. But I wanted to share this photo, one of many my friend @saltwaterandclay sent yesterday, from Adrian’s memorial.

Things have been hard. Life in general is hard, and I’m just floating through it. But there is still beauty in this world. And for that one thing, I can feel grateful. For this one moment, I can breathe.

Write Your Grief: The Condition of My Heart

Categories: Miranda's Blog 2018
Tags: I'm trying to be okay

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Miranda’s Blog has been featured in Scary Mommy, Pregnancy After Loss Support Magazine, Love What Matters, Up Journey, and Pursue Today. You can also find her on Quora and Medium.

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In 1988, President Ronald Reagan established 15 October as Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day | In honor of all children lost too soon, please consider lighting a candle from 7-8pm in your local time zone. This will create a "wave of light" that travels around the world. | Learn more about pregnancy & infant loss and how to support a bereaved family in your life: https://AdrianJamesHernandez.com

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Jan01

1 January 2019

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Jul13

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Jul11

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Jul08

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Wave of Light 2020

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3 Years, 3 Months

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Jul19

The grief of not getting what you didn’t want anyway

Jul10

Why I Support Banning Home Fetal Dopplers (Quora)

Jun29

It’s Always 29 June; Integration in Grief

Jun01

1 June 2020

May23

Why I Didn’t “Just Adopt”

May19

The Whirlwind of Pregnancy and Delivery After Loss

May10

Mother’s Day 2020

May07

Cranky

Apr18

The Problem With Positivity

Apr17

There But for Grace

Apr05

Perspective

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Daydreams

Mar20

Why I Choose to Share Photos of My Dead Child on Social Media

Feb18

What is the Worst Sound in the World? (Quora)

Feb08

Re-Evaluation & New Priorities after the Death of a Child

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Survivor’s Bias

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Tone

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Adrian’s Elephant Official Comment Policy, aka Things Not to Say To or About a Bereaved Parent

Dec07

I Fail at Grief Olympics

Nov24

Preventing Stillbirth Starts With Outreach

Nov20

“It’s Not Your Fault”

Oct07

Why you shouldn’t ask a bereaved parent if they plan to “try again”

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From one mother to another: A letter to the pregnant mother from one who is bereaved

Oct04

Elephants and Well-Meaning Words – “It’s not your fault”

Sep30

Stillbirth and Statistics: What Does it Mean to be “Rare”?

Sep26

Imagination

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Sea Lions

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More Than One Spectrum

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Awareness Isn’t Enough – Preventing Suicide Starts with Understanding

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Baggage

Aug17

17 August 2019

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Sleepless

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Charlie’s Accident

Jul12

Two Birthdays

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The bluntness I wish I could share where it’s needed

Jun30

A Letter to My Son on His Second Birthday

Jun18

#MovementsMatter, Today and Always

Jun17

First

Jun15

Paperwork and Taxes

Jun12

Pregnancy after Loss & Peanut’s Birth Story

May12

Third Mother’s Day

May08

From one mother to another; a letter to the recently bereaved

Apr29

When you’re going through tough times, remember that life is about so much more than feel-good messages you read online

Apr23

Warning Signs Prior to Adrian’s Stillbirth

Apr11

Sometimes I DO want to give up, and you can’t “fix” that

Apr10

My experience with the 4th Trimester Bodies Project

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Midnight; Memories of Loss & Grief

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My experience as a pseudo-rainbow baby

Mar28

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Understanding

Mar21

Why I track fetal movement religiously with my second pregnancy

Mar14

Dear Nature-Based Childbirth Educator

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A Letter to My Mental Health Coordinator

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Necessary Fear

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Death and Taxes – Why the Federal Government Doesn’t Consider My Stillborn Son to be a Human Being

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Why I am celebrating every moment of this current pregnancy

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Please stop telling me everything is going to be “fine”

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The Story of Amy Anne

Jan20

Claddagh Ring

Jan20

My Daughter is Not a Rainbow; My Son was Not a Storm

Jan19

Yoga on a Saturday

Jan14

Hard Day

Jan13

Waiting Rooms

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8 January 2019; Two Years of Memories and Looking to the Future

Jan05

Grief Isn’t a Disease; That Quote from “The Interpreter”

Jan01

1 January 2019

Jul13

Friday the 13th

Jul11

11 July 2018; Memories of Adrian’s Funeral

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Second Eulogy

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A Letter to My Son on His First Birthday

Jun28

28 June; Memories from the day before my son was stillborn

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22 June 2018, 9:01am; Memories about Adrian’s Due Date & Warning Signs That Were Missed

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21 June 2018, 4:58pm; Memories of my Last Prenatal Appointment before Adrian Died

Jun18

18 June 2018, 8:47 pm; Living in the Calendar after Loss

Jun07

Not Fucking Fair

May28

Home

May21

Sunrise

May04

My Seventh Trimester Body

Apr25

Birth

Mar30

Equidistance

Mar29

A letter to my roommate, who puts up with far more than she deserves

Mar18

San Diego

Feb27

A Letter to the Woman Who Wants the “Perfect Natural Birth”

Feb23

I AM a Mother, Even after my Child is Gone

Jan22

Humor

Jan15

Everything Happens.

Jan15

Nature Isn’t Perfect

Jan14

Second Hand

Jan14

Desire

Jan10

Sea Shells

Jan10

Signs

Jan04

Life

Dec29

Pre-Pregnancy Jeans & the Struggle with Postpartum Weight Loss after Stillbirth

Dec23

I Drink a Lot of Tea

Dec02

I Miss My Phone

Dec02

I woke up out of a sound sleep with these words on my lips

Nov23

Favorite Holiday

Nov11

On Sunlight and Strength

Nov10

Things I Didn’t Get to Say in Response to Comments after the Death of my Child

Nov05

What Happens When a Type A Personality Grieves

Nov01

Dear Pregnant Woman in My Office

Oct29

29 October 2017

Sep30

30 September 2017; I Will Always Love His Name

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Anger is a Huge Part of Grief
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"There is no heartbeat" "waking up" again after the fog of grief 1 in 2000 Adrian's name Adrian will always be my firstborn child An exhaustion that is more than just physical Aunt Alexis Baby loss remembrance cards beautiful terror of pregnancy after loss breath is grounding Charles Xavier Christmas after the death of a child comfort cub Crying and tears Donor Timothy embrace the unpleasant feelings expectant management of overdue pregnancy Florida fork in time Happiness is complicated when you're grieving Help and support after the death of a child Honoring my deceased child in every way possible I didn't realize how much my childhood was tied into my experience as a parent and in loss I don't mind prayer if it has been invited I used to be obsessed with control but that changed after loss Life goes on after loss and that is really hard Living on fast forward after the death of a child Memories of my pregnancy with Adrian Mexico missing Winter memories My child shouldn't require a trigger warning My doula during Adrian's pregnancy and delivery my stillbirth story Say their names Show up when your loved ones are grieving simplicity of early grief Stillborn babies don't get a birth certificate The complications of losing weight after the loss of a child the nurses at Adrian's birth were amazing The war between nature and medicine that cost my son his life time-measured kick counts Time doesnt heal not by iteself Wearing baggy clothing to hide postpartum body after loss What does it mean to "heal" or "cure" grief? who I used to be

22 July 2018; Life is Hard but I’m Trying

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