13 June 2019

Peanut and Adrian's Elephant (Sarah Perry Photography)
Peanut and Adrian’s Elephant (Sarah Perry Photography)

A little over 13 months ago, and just by chance on Mother’s Day weekend, I made my first attempt at having a second child. That attempt was unsuccessful, and the following months were complicated and painful. It wasn’t until September that I felt ready to try again. So it feels like such a different world to know that this year, on Mother’s Day weekend, my second pregnancy was coming to an end.

We were monitored much more closely this time. I saw my doctor twice monthly at the beginning and twice weekly at the end. We spent time with specialists and ran all the tests, and even on days I was terrified, I knew my providers were doing everything possible to keep us both safe. During our last month, I even found a sense of peace. This little girl was going to be okay.

So when my doctor called me this year on Mother’s Day weekend and asked me to repeat some tests, I wasn’t especially concerned. I was feeling well; she was moving; we were both going to be fine. And when he called again a second time, I still felt okay. And looking back now I can only feel grateful, because he caught the beginnings of both Preeclampsia and HELLP before they had the chance to fully develop. And because of this, for most of the past month, I’ve been enjoying life with the sweetest little girl.

She’s here, she’s real, and she’s absolutely perfect. She fills my heart in ways I can’t believe. She is not a rainbow, because my son was not a storm. They both exist, side by side, both a permanent part of me.

~

While I do share photos and details about Adrian on Facebook and other social media, I have chosen not to do so for my daughter. We live in such a different world today than I grew up in, and I’d like to keep some things private while she’s young. So for now, please welcome my brand new little “Peanut,” the sweetest part of my new world ❤️🥜❤️

 

Miranda before her first insemination procedure (photo used with permission)
Miranda before her first insemination procedure (photo used with permission)

 

Midwife preparing for insemination (photo used with permission)
Midwife preparing for insemination (Miranda Hernandez)

 

Miranda before her second insemination procedure (photo used with permission)
Miranda before her second insemination procedure (photo used with permission)

 

Positive pregnancy test (Miranda Hernandez)
Positive pregnancy test (Miranda Hernandez)

 

Miranda at five weeks pregnant, Twin Peaks, San Francisco (Richard Bae)
Miranda at five weeks pregnant, Twin Peaks, San Francisco (Richard Bae)

 

Maternity photo, Metauri Bay, New Zealand (Two Little Starfish)
Maternity photo, Metauri Bay, New Zealand (Two Little Starfish)

 

Miranda and Peanut's Mermaid (4th Trimester Bodies Project)
Miranda and Peanut’s Mermaid (4th Trimester Bodies Project)

 

Peanut's baby shower (photo used with permission)
Peanut’s baby shower (photo used with permission)

 

Peanut's baby shower (Miranda Hernandez)
Peanut’s baby shower (Miranda Hernandez)

 

Maternity photo, Pebble Peach, California (Sarah Perry Photography)
Maternity photo, Pebble Peach, California (Sarah Perry Photography)

 

Miranda and Peanut after birth (Sarah Perry Photography)
Miranda and Peanut after birth (Sarah Perry Photography)

 

Miranda and Peanut at home (Sarah Perry Photography)
Miranda and Peanut at home (Sarah Perry Photography)

 

Related Posts:
Miranda’s Blog: 1 January 2019
Miranda’s Blog: My Daughter is not a Rainbow; My Son was not a Storm

💙🐘💙 Miranda’s Blog contains my thoughts on stillbirth, child loss, mental health after loss, pregnancy & parenting after loss, and thoughts on grief positivity & grief support. 💙🐘💙
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