You don’t have to heal if you don’t want to
October 23, 2021
There seems to be this consensus in parts of the loss community that you have to move forward or “heal” from your grief. I don’t believe this is true.
What does it mean to “heal” or “cure” grief?
- People sometimes talk about being healed or cured from grief, but I don’t believe this is possible. Grief isn’t a disorder or disease. What would being healed from grief even look like?
Frequently Asked Questions About Therapists & Therapy After the Loss of a Child
March 18, 2021
In conjunction with two beautiful therapists, Mary from Sarah’s Heart and Diane from Diane Biggs Psychotherapy, this latest post is a compilation of frequently asked questions about therapists and therapy, specific to the child loss experience.
You are under no obligation to be healed
September 13, 2020
There is often this perception that healing is a required part of the process of grief. I don’t believe this is true. Healing is and must always be the choice of the individual.
“Trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility”
September 13, 2020
This meme has been floating around for a while, and I honestly can’t stand it. Trauma is not your fault, period. Healing is never an obligation. Telling someone they have an obligation to heal from their trauma is just another form of toxic positivity.
“Healing” from the death of my child is about as likely as regrowing a missing limb.
June 28, 2020
People like to talk about healing after loss, but “healing” from the death of my child is about as likely as regrowing a missing limb. It’s not happening.
118 – Fri, Jul 6, 2018, 7:43 PM
July 1, 2019
I think somehow I felt like I would be healed now, like your birthday would be a healing event. Like I felt about that cruise. I will never be healed.
098 – Thu, Apr 29, 2018, 8:58 PM
April 1, 2019
I started school this month. It’s been intense, learning to live again inside rules and structure. I can’t get up and walk away when I need to be alone with you.
060 – Fri, Nov 17, 2017, 8:02 PM
November 1, 2018
I’m awake now, and I hate it. But what I hate almost as much are the expectations on me. I eat and I sleep and I put on my uniform and people assume that because I do these things, I must be okay.
Spiritual Feelings & Beliefs After the Death of My Child
June 1, 2018
As a non-believer throughout my life, I wondered if losing my child would challenged any of my spiritual feelings and beliefs. It didn’t. I held a secular funeral for my child, and even as a bereaved mother, I am comfortable with my non-religious beliefs.
Things I Didn’t Get to Say in Response to Comments after the Death of my Child
November 10, 2017
People said some (mostly unintentionally) hurtful and insensitive things after the death of my child. This is what I wish I’d said in response.