There is no “at least” in loss and grief (Archives)

There is no “at least” in loss and grief

There is a tendency in our culture of wanting to put a positive spin on sad circumstances. This is often done with the words, “at least.” But these words do not belong in any discussion of loss or grief.

At least…

May 31, 2021

When I was new in my grief, I had a good friend tell me, “at least you can pregnant.” He almost immediately became my EX-good friend…There is literally no statement that can follow the words “at least” that is in any way supportive or gentle or kind. Nothing. It simply isn’t possible.

I have grown as a person since the death of my son...But I would give up everything I’ve gained to have not had a reason to. -Miranda Hernandez Adrian's Mother

I have grown as person through the death of my son, But I would give up everything I’ve gained to have not had a reason to

November 16, 2020

I think our culture idealizes those who use their loss or pain as an impetus for personal growth. While I don’t object to how anyone else chooses to live after loss, I do think it’s important to acknowledge that no matter how much growth is achieved, it is NEVER worth the cost. I would certainly give it all up to have my son at home.

If you genuinely want to comfort a grieving person, remove these words from your vocabulary: “But”, “Strong”, “Brave”, “At Least”. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

If you genuinely want to comfort a bereaved person, remove these words from your vocabulary

September 13, 2020

We default to these standard phrases when seeking to comfort others in pain. Unfortunately, these phrases actually make the pain worse..

There is no “at least” in loss and grief (Archives)