Midnight; Memories of Loss & Grief
April 10, 2019
Pregnant with my daughter after the loss of my son, life is often complicated. Sometimes I can’t sleep. Sometimes I write about it.
I fight against happiness after loss
The Story of Amy Anne
January 26, 2019
I still wonder, now, if Amy knew what was coming. She was already pretty attached to me. It was hard to say for sure. She and Saki liked to cuddle around my big belly on the couch at night. Some nights I would sleep there. Life seemed pretty good.
Suicidal Feelings After the Death of my Child
June 1, 2018
For more than a year after my son’s death by stillbirth, I experienced suicidal feelings and thoughts. This is my story of how I coped and finally chose to live.
22 May 2018 – I only write to ghosts. You must be one of them.
May 22, 2018
You were more than pain. You swept into my life and your presence promised happiness. And I hated that, because happiness wasn’t something I wanted to know. And I hate it more now, standing here, awake and oh so lonely. And this pain isn’t comforting. And this new life feels broken.
A letter to my roommate, who puts up with far more than she deserves
March 29, 2018
Sometimes, I am still a b****. I’m sorry. You don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve any of my anger. You’re just there, sitting closest to me. You shouldn’t have to make any changes.
18 Feb 2018 – I Love You
February 18, 2018
I want to wish you happiness, but I don’t know if you want that. I didn’t want happiness after the death of my son. It felt disloyal.
Signs
January 10, 2018
I fight against happiness. I think that if I let myself smile, I will lose sight of my grief. I will lose him. Again.