I’m having a bad day. Week. Month. Life. I’m having a bad life.
I’m not happy. I miss my son. I miss the person I used to be. I also don’t miss her. She was naive. She was wrapped up in petty concerns that feel pretty meaningless now, to me. The new me.
The Miranda from a year ago is dead. She died with Adrian. And that needs to be okay. It needs to be okay that I am a different person, that the things that used to make me happy are now different. Permanently. I am different. Permanently.
It needs to be okay that I’m not smiling. It needs to be okay that I will talk about my dead son. It needs to be okay that there will be times when I will cry. Those tears are real. They are necessary. I am unhappy, and you can’t cheer me out of it, and that needs to be okay. Because I am not okay. And that needs to be okay.
Related Posts:
Miranda’s Blog: The Bluntness I Wish I Could Share Where it’s Needed
Write Your Grief: Prickly
Write Your Grief: This is How I Feel About Life
Write Your Grief: I Love You. Please
Write Your Grief: Fuck
Write Your Grief: That Day
Write Your Grief: Nuclear Bomb (Part 2)
