June is an intense month for me. Three years ago in June, I had started to develop preeclampsia, but my symptoms were so minor my providers didn’t catch it. I wish they had been paying more attention.
But as much as I want to, I cannot blame my providers alone. Because I unfortunately made a decision that also contributed to my son’s death: I refused the induction that was recommended at 39 weeks, convinced labor was best when it happened naturally.
June is an intense month for me, because each June, I relive these memories. Each June, I remember what it’s like to go into the hospital for a routine examination and be told my child has no heartbeat.
If I could share anything with the world, it would be this: GENUINELY informed consent. By which I mean:
- Do ALL the reading. Not just the sites and studies that comfort you, but also those challenge that your beliefs.
- Ask ALL the questions. Not just the ones that allow you creature comforts in delivery, but also those that maybe scare you about the possibilities.
- Be open to change. As much as I believe in planning and hoping for your ideal outcome, I constantly also WISH I had been open to alternatives before it was too late.
If I had considered the risks and ramifications of allowing my pregnancy to go overdue; if I had asked not only more questions, but the right kinds of questions; if my providers had been more open to educating and involving me in decisions about my care; I honestly believe my son would be alive today.
I used to think pregnancy was the most natural thing in the world. I used to think it was silly to not let nature take the lead. I never considered that the MOST natural thing in the world was death. Not until it happened to my son. Not until his death happened to me.
Adrian’s Story: Adrian’s Story
Miranda’s Story: Miranda’s Story
Resources Blog: Best Practices for Safest Pregnancy
Miranda’s Blog: Nature Isn’t Perfect
Miranda’s Blog: A Letter to the Woman who Wants the “Perfect Birth”