Guestbook

Miranda was my mentor, taking a leadership position in a volunteer organization that I was too intimidated to take on. She had authority over me, but treated me as an equal. I am lucky to know the amazing person that she is. I was so excited to hear of and support her in her journey towards motherhood. I have known none more qualified or deserving. We discussed many things about life, and I gave her my opinions freely, just another point of view in the world. When she asked me my thoughts on labor induction, I spoke honestly, that I was for natural birth without indications of problems. I had no idea babies still died unexpectedly. In today's highly advanced medical field, I thought Drs could predict death. I was so excited for Miranda, I never thought anything bad was possible. Getting the news, I have never felt so much pain for another person's loss, and so much guilt. I completely felt and still feel like it was my fault, that if i had told her to induce, maybe things would be different. It hurt so badly that i couldn't breathe, couldn't sleep, and i couldn't imagine what her pain was. I had so many questions, and balanced on this thin line between trying to be supportive, and being respectful of the space she needed. In experiencing a different kind of loss, I realized that many of my reactions were normal, but wrong, and not helpful. I have always been open to all aspects of religion, believing in a God, but not sure of the details. Death has blurred my vision. While I understand it must be a part of life, some things are unforgivable. There is no explanation that brings peace of mind or acceptance. All I can say with certainty is that I am here for whatever you need that i am capable of giving. I love you and Adrian.